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Henny Youngman
11 quotes
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”
Henny Youngman (1906–1998) said by 1998 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Forbes" - Vol. 166, Page 156, de Bertie Charles Forbes - Forbes Inc., 2000
“Take my wife - please!”
Henny Youngman (1906–1998) said by 1998 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Take My Wife, Please!: Henny Youngman's Giant Book of Jokes (1999)
“Business was so bad the other night the orchestra was playing "Tea for One.”
Henny Youngman (1906–1998) first seen 1976 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Don't Put My Name on this Book (1976), p. 92
“My first Hollywood picture wasn't released, it escaped.”
Henny Youngman (1906–1998) first seen 1944 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Insurance Newsweek, volume 45 (1944), page 60
“I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother,”
Henny Youngman (1906–1998) first seen 1976 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: 101 of My Funniest Jokes. New York: Henny Youngman (1976). Brochure..
Also quoted by: Rodney Dangerfield (misattributed)
“I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.”
Henny Youngman (1906–1998) said by 1998 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.”
Henny Youngman (1906–1998) said by 1998 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.”
Henny Youngman (1906–1998) said by 1998 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“My wife told me the car wasn't running well. There was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, and she told me it was in the lake.”
Henny Youngman (1906–1998) said by 1998 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.”
Henny Youngman (1906–1998) said by 1998 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree.”
Henny Youngman (1906–1998) said by 1998 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source