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Wilson Mizner
18 quotes
“Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. .
“When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted in Alva Johnston's The Legendary Mizners (1953, Farrar Straus and Young, New York, chapter 4, p 66) and Bartlett's, 1992, p. 631.
“Treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted by Anita Loos, Kiss Hollywood Goodbye, Viking Press, New York, 1974, . Loos goes on to claim that "the aphorism had no validity for Wilson.
“Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. .
“A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. .
“Be nice to people on the way up because you'll meet them on the way down.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. .
“A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Maxims Old and New", All of a Piece: New Essays (1937), edited by Edward Verrall Lucas, p. 52.
“Harry Thaw shot the wrong architect.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted by Alva Johnston, The Legendary Mizners, 1953, Farrar Straus and Young, New York. Johnston allows that the quote has been attributed to many others, but makes a good case that Mizner said it first.
“To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted by John Burke, Rogue's Progress, G. P. Putnam's Sons, New York, 1975, .
“...a trip through a sewer in a glass-bottom boat.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. .
“It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. .
“The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Stop dying. Am trying to write a comedy.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. .
“Tell 'em to count to ten over him and he'll get up.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. .
“I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. .
“You can't be a rascal for 40 years and then cop a plea the last minute. God keeps better books than that.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. .
“Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. .
“America's most fascinating outlaw.”
Wilson Mizner (1876–1933) said by 1933 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Anita Loos, as quoted by Stuart B. McIver, Dreamers, Schemers and Scalawags, Pineapple Press, Sarasota, Florida, 1994. .