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Will Rogers

74 quotes

“Now everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody Else, but when it happens to you, why it seems to lose some of its Humor, and if it keeps on happening, why the entire laughter kinder Fades out of it.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I have no Politics. I am for the Party that is out of Power, no matter which one it is. But I will give you my word that, in case of my appointment, I will not be a Republican; I will do my best to pull with you, and not embarrass you. In fact, my views on European affairs are so in accord with you, Mr. President, that I might almost be suspected of being a Democrat.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible exception of stupidity.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth. ... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A man that don't love a Horse, there is something the matter with him. If he has no sympathy for the man that does love Horses, then there is something worse the matter with him.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“So when all the yielding and objections is over, the other Senator said, "I object to the remarks of a professional joker being put into the Congressional Record." Taking a dig at me, see? They didn't want any outside fellow contributing. Well, he had me wrong. Compared to them I'm an amateur, and the thing about my jokes is that they don't hurt anybody. You can say they're not funny or they're terrible or they're good or whatever it is, but they don't do no harm. But with Congress — every time they make a joke it's a law. And every time they make a law it's a joke.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I am not a member of any organized party — I am a Democrat.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I don't even have to exaggerate.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As quoted in Saturday Review (25 August 1962)
“There is only one thing that can kill the Movies, and that is education.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You can't say civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do — well, that's Memoirs.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: "I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like." I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) first seen 1930 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: One of his most famous and most quoted remarks. First printed in the Boston Globe, June 16, 1930, after he had attended Tremont Temple Baptist Church, where Dr. James W. Brougher was minister. He asked Will to say a few…
“I originated a remark many years ago that I think has been copied more than any little thing that I've every said, and I used it in the FOLLIES of 1922. I said America has a unique record. We never lost a war and we never won a conference in our lives. I believe that we could without any degree of egotism, single-handed lick any nation in the world. But we can't confer with Costa Rica and come home with our shirts on.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I bet you if I had met him and had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I never yet met a man that I dident like. When you meet people, no matter what opinion you might have formed about them beforehand, why, after you meet them and see their angle and their personality, why, you can see a lot of good in all of them.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) first seen 1926 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: On Leon Trotsky Saturday Evening Post (6 November 1926) - note that Rogers specifically spelled the word "dident
“We can make this thing into a Party, instead of a Memory.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) first seen 1929 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Letter to Al Smith regarding the Democratic party (19 January 1929)
“We'll hold the distinction of being the only Nation in the history of the world that ever went to the poor house in an automobile. Radio broadcast, Bacon, Beans, and Limousines, October 18, 1931”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) said by 1935 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted as 'We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poor house in an automobile.'in How We Elect Our Presidents (1952), edited by Donald Day, p. 111
“And kid Congress and the Senate, don't scold 'em. They are just children thats never grown up. They don't like to be corrected in company. Don't send messages to 'em, send candy.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) first seen 1932 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Advice sent to President-elect Franklin D. Roosevelt (2 December 1932)
“You've got to be optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) first seen 1934 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Good Gulf radio show (24 June 1934)
“You've never in your life seen a picture, I bet any one of you, never seen a picture of one of these old Pilgrims praying when they didn't have a gun right by the side of them. That was to see that he got what he was praying for.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) first seen 1935 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: radio broadcast (14 April 1935)
“That's one thing about Republican Presidents. They never went in much for plans. They only had one plan. It says "Boys, my head is turned. Just get it while you can.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) first seen 1935 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: radio broadcast (21 April 1935)
“This election was lost four and five and six years ago not this year. They dident start thinking of the old common fellow till just as they started out on the election tour. The money was all appropriated for the top in the hopes that it would trickle down to the needy. Mr. Hoover was an engineer. He knew that water trickled down. Put it uphill and let it go and it will reach the dryest little spot. But he dident know that money trickled up. Give it to the people at the bottom and the people at the top will have it before night anyhow. But it will at least have passed through the poor fellow's hands. They saved the big banks but the little ones went up the flue.”
Will Rogers (1879–1935) first seen 1932 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Nationally syndicated column number 518, And Here's How It All Happened (1932), as published in the Tulsa Daily World, 5 December 1932.