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Will Cuppy
111 quotes
“[Footnote] The Mexicans gave the Spaniards malaria, and the Spaniards gave the Mexicans smallpox, whooping cough, diphtheria, and syphilis. The Spaniards believed it was better to give than to receive.”
Will Cuppy (1884–1949) said by 1949 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Tragabigzanda was a rather large girl. Later on, Captain Smith named a portion of Massachusetts after her. [Footnote: This was afterwards changed to Cape Ann, because you really can't have a part of Massachusetts named Tragabigzanda.]”
Will Cuppy (1884–1949) said by 1949 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Captain Smith reached Virginia on April 26, 1607, with a number of English gentlemen and some people who were willing to work. Then they all held a meeting to discuss ways and means of civilizing everybody. They made a great many speeches and accused each other of various crimes and misdemeanors and arrested some of themselves as an object lesson, and American history was started at last.”
Will Cuppy (1884–1949) said by 1949 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“[Footnote] Great men seem to have only one purpose in life — getting into history. That may be all they are good for.”
Will Cuppy (1884–1949) said by 1949 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“They [the Pilgrim Fathers] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.”
Will Cuppy (1884–1949) said by 1949 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If the Pilgrims were looking for freedom of conscience, they came to just the right place. In America, everybody's conscience is unusually free.”
Will Cuppy (1884–1949) said by 1949 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.”
Will Cuppy (1884–1949) said by 1949 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.”
Will Cuppy (1884–1949) said by 1949 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Sartor Resartus is simply unreadable, and for me that always sort of spoils a book.”
Will Cuppy (1884–1949) said by 1949 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Right here I might offer a word of advice to the Ivory-billed Woodpecker, now the rarest bird on the North American continent and one that is going to come in for more and more attention. Keep away from bird lovers, fellows, or you'll be standing on a little wooden pedestal with a label containing your full name in Latin: Campephilus principalis. People will be filing past admiring your glossy blue-black feathers, your white stripes and patches, your nasal plumes in front of lores, your bright red crest and your beady yellow eyes. You'll be in the limelight, but you won't know it. I don't want to alarm you fellows, but there are only about twenty of you alive as I write these lines, but there are more than two hundred of you in American museums and in collections owned by Ivory-billed Woodpecker enthusiasts. Get it?”
Will Cuppy (1884–1949) said by 1949 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Hamilcar also told Hannibal about elephants and how you must always have plenty of these clubhouse to scare the enemy. He attributed much of his own success to elephants and believed they would have won the First Punic War for him if things hadn't gone slightly haywire; for the war had turned into a naval affair. But even when the fighting was on land, the Romans did not scare nearly so well as expected. The Romans had learned about elephants while fighting Pyrrhus, whose elephants defeated him in 275 B.C., and even before that, in Alexander's time, King Porus had been undone by his own elephants. Thus, if history had taught any one thing up to that time, it was never to use elephants in war.”
Will Cuppy (1884–1949) said by 1949 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source