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Warren Farrell
593 quotes
“My first conflict with NOW erupted in the mid-’70s when NOW chapters increasingly rejected father involvement by rejecting shared parent time as the preferred arrangement after divorce.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Both parents’ rights must exist primarily to assist the parents in fulfilling their responsibilities. Primarily does not mean exclusively.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Both parents’ rights must be in balance so children can grow up with a balance between both parents.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Male-female fusion does not create women’s rights. It creates a fusion of rights.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Is a man’s body at stake? Any time a man is asked to work to pay child support, he is using his body, his time, his life -- not for nine months, but for a minimum of 18 to 21 years. So the motto of the feminist with integrity is, “It’s a woman’s and man’s right to choose because it is a woman’s and man’s body at stake.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A woman has no right to a unilateral choice that affects the rest of a man’s life any more than a man would have the right to a unilateral choice that affects the rest of a woman’s life.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When only men could register to vote, we required only men to register for the draft. Today both sexes can vote, but only men must register for the draft.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We are at a unique moment in history -- when a woman’s body is affected, we say the choice is hers; but when a boy’s body is affected, we say the choice is not his -- the law requires our 18 year old sons to register for the draft, and therefore potential death-if-needed.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“It is ironic that a movement that made its reputation championing the irrelevance of biological differences when those differences were to most women's disadvantage immediately returned to biological determinism when those differences were to the most women’s advantage.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We would not think of allowing a man to determine a woman’s life merely because a fetus he helped create was in her womb; then why would we allow a woman to determine a man’s life merely because a fetus he helped create is in her womb?”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Men are socialized to trust women until evidence to the contrary surfaces; women are socialized to be suspicious of men until an individual man earns trust.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When a government requires a man to support a child he was tricked into creating, that government subsidizes fraud. No. It is worse than that: It subsidizes the woman using a man’s body for 18-21 years without his consent.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“In a democracy, a government’s policies are rarely questioned until the underlying assumptions that create them are questioned.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A “shared choice” movement sees the fetus as the genes of a woman and the genes of a man; the flesh of the woman, the flesh of the man; the bone of a woman, the bone of a man; the responsibility of a woman, the responsibility of a man; the rights of a woman, the rights of a man. It desires a transition to equality.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Feminists often discuss women having two jobs: work and children. True. But no one discusses those divorced and remarried men who have three jobs: work, and two sets of children to nurture and financially support.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I soon saw that feminists who supported the “Primary Parent Theory” were not in favor of equality of opportunity, but of unequal opportunism.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Men for whom divorce means walking out of their children’s lives except when they choose to see the children are the male equivalent of the adolescent feminists: men who want options without obligations. Morally, they have no right to walk out. A law that allows that is similarly immoral. “Primary Parent” laws are just such laws.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The irony of primary parent laws is that on the one hand feminists were arguing for women’s equal rights to jointly-created career assets that emanated from the male financial womb, but arguing against men’s equal rights to jointly-created children that emanated from the woman’s child-bearing womb.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“In brief, she is the partner to what primarily he creates; he is the visitor to what primarily she creates. To me, this wasn’t equality.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“As feminism made this transition from equal opportunity to unequal opportunism, I made my transition from supporter to critic. But in my inner psyche, there was no transition: I went from supporter of equality to supporter of equality.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“In brief, when a man fails as a wallet, we put him in prison; when a woman fails as a mother, we offer her social services. We’re taking a criminal approach to men, a social services approach to women.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Most mothers want more of dad in their children’s lives, not less.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Raising children was not designed for single parents. (Which is why divorce was such a taboo prior to birth control.)”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If we penalize mothers for denial of “visitation time” we must also penalize fathers who don’t show up for “visitation time.” The issue is not fathers’ rights to visitation time, but both parents obligations to their children. The issue is how to make both parents real parents despite what parenting was never designed to deal with -- divorce.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Our children are better served by speaking not of “visitation” versus “custody,” but of “parent time.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When we speak of mom winning custody or of dad getting visitation time, we speak of someone winning, someone losing. When we speak of mom or dad spending “parent time” with a child, we speak of two parents, not a parent versus a visitor.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Visitation” reflects the era of the absentee father; “parent time” influences the re-emergence of the involved father. “Visitation” reflects the destruction of the family; “parent time” influences the reconstruction of the family. “Parent time” influences an era that understands that as either parents loses, so lose the children.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When a parent denies a child its “parent time,” that parent is denying the child its child support -- its psychological child support.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“After a divorce, men’s biggest fear is, typically, losing their children (women’s is poverty).”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“From a woman’s perspective, sharing parent time feels like what a man might experience if his ex-wife came to his office and shared his career. He might claim the sharing is not in the best interests of the employer. But what he really would be caring about is the affront should his ex-wife do as good as he at his own job. While the fear is understandable, the difference is that his career is his, their children are theirs.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If Women Have An Equal EMPLOYMENT Opportunity Commission, Why Don’t Men Have An Equal FAMILY Opportunity Commission?”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The worst form anger can take is that of a parent who feels her or his chance for “winning my child” is enhanced by “ruining my ex.” The law has given the most vindictive parent an invitation to play the “abuse” card. This is the “Great Temptation.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When women entered the workplace, many men were mentors to them and, in turn, also learned to respect women’s unique contributions (for example, their listening and facilitative skills). Now, as we give men responsibilities to care for children, women must be among the mentors, and we must also learn to respect men’s unique contributions.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If we both ignore the unique contribution of “male-style” parenting and jail a man who responsibly contributes it, fatherhood becomes another hazardous occupation. More precisely, it becomes the largest 100%-male hazardous occupation. And in the process, our children lose one of the greatest potential gifts of Stage II -- genuine fatherhood. That’s the bad news. The good news is that there are ways of creating a father and child reunion....”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Men goeth to that place from which appreciation cometh.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The challenge is shifting our appreciation: being willing to give up some of dad’s money for more of dad’s love. And, in the process, altering the psyche that makes him lovable.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Technology is dad-at-home friendly. It allows the family to be more creative and role flexible than it ever has in the past without being poor in the process.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Many women are discovering that the motherhood instinct implies a responsibility to be certain children have dads -- everyday, not far away; and some are aware that economic independence requires not holding on to her child as if it were her job.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Shifting our attitudes about the future of fathers requires shifting our attitudes about the way our fathers loved. Recognizing that the rigid roles of the past were not designed by men to serve only men is not unrelated to shifting our attitudes toward dad.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We cannot think of dads as being nurturing if we think of men as being self-serving.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A paucity of funding from private and government sources would be much less a problem if billions of dollars each year were not funding feminist perspectives on men. This funding leads to Women’s Studies without Men’s Studies; to studies about deadbeat dads, but not dead broke or dead-ended dads -- or moms who deny dads access to children, or make false accusations to obtain children.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The feminist-only funding leads to studies that misinform the nation that a divorced mother is economically more hurt than a divorced man, so judges feel a mandate to make his future income hers, and legislatures feel fine about refusing to make his mother subsidy payments tax deductible even as she pays no taxes on the money received. And all this perpetuates the belief that he earns more money....”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There is virtually no funding to study the validity of the more muted complaints of men: to study when a false accusation is being used as a weapon to keep the children from dad; or when the child is being bad-mouthed by the other parent; or when access to the child is being prevented; or when statistics about deadbeat dads are including men who are dead, unemployed, or denied their children; or when men are victims of domestic violence.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The one-sided funding creates one-sided images that reinforce the press defining as progress an examination of only women’s issues. Thus, a quarter century’s-worth of studies showing domestic violence against men to be more than equal to domestic violence against women receive so little publicity as to barely make a dent on the public’s consciousness.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“From these biased studies come biased social policy. Hundreds of millions of dollars to enforce sanctions against fathers who don’t pay mothers; almost nothing to enforce sanctions against mothers who don’t allow fathers to see children.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“In brief, part of the need for funding comes from the need to create balance to a third of a century of funding an “attitude” toward men. And part comes from the need to study how both sexes can make a transition from those rigid roles to more flexible roads with a clear enough road map to not go over too many cliffs along the way...”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There is little life where no one will listen. These are fathers, sons and families who are needlessly lost.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Part of our evolutionary heritage is the ability to adapt -- species that survive, adapt. Humans adapt by altering their priorities to match evolving values.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We need to fund relationship language in our schools so that future parents will know how to communicate about whether they want children; to communicate with the children they have, and teach their children how to communicate with the world. Technical progress without social skills is a Tower of Babel.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Social policy that reunites father and child must always confront itself with the question, “Are we paying dads to stay, or to go away?” If a single mother receives more money when the father isn’t around than when he is around, there will be fewer fathers around. The government will become her substitute husband.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source