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Warren Farrell
593 quotes
“Why did virtually every culture reward its men for enduring violence? So it would have a cadre of people available to protect it in war.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The people considered the most in need of protection were women and children. The sex considered most disposable was men – or males....”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The more a man is trained to “be a man,” the more he is trained to protect women and children, not hurt women and children. He is trained to volunteer to die before even a stranger is hurt – especially a woman or child.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We often think that when a man insults another man by calling him a “girl,” the insult reflects a contempt for women. No. It reflects a contempt for any man who is unwilling to make himself strong enough to protect someone as precious as a woman.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The ridicule is pressure to consider ourselves less important than someone even more precious: A baby is more precious than a mother; a woman is more precious than a man.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Those feminists who say that masculinity is about men believing they can batter women display the deepest ignorance possible about men and masculinity.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“What Men Would Say When Male-Bashing Is Called “Funny,” But Female-Bashing Is Called “Sexist”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Misandry – or man hating – is the equivalent of misogyny. If you are unaware of misandry, welcome to the club.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A week after you read this chapter, misandry will become apparent in commercials, in films, in everyday conversations. But the bias that is hardest to see is the bias we share.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Even allegedly gender-neutral words like “sexist” imply slights only against women.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Men’s life expectancy was one year less than women’s in 1920; today, it is seven years less, yet the federal government has only an Office of Research on Women’s Health.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The function of gossip is to create an “in group” bond by creating an “out group” enemy.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Look under the “Love and Friendship” section and see dozens of cards designed for women to send to women, most bashing men, and virtually none saying anything loving about men.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If there is one quality that I find is more essential to a successful and happy life than any other, it is empathy. It is at the core of family stability and love. I’ve never had a couple come to me and say, “I want a divorce; my partner understands me.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Teaching the child to treat boundaries seriously teaches the child to respect the rights and needs of others. Thinking of another’s needs creates empathy.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Students coming from father-present families score higher in math and science even when they come from weaker schools.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The more the father is involved, the more easily the child makes open, receptive, and trusting contact with new people in its life.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We often hear that mothers do the caring; fathers just do the playing. This is a false dichotomy -- even a dangerous one -- because fathers’ particular style of play involves both a conscious focus on teaching and, as the research is now showing, is instructive to children even when it is not consciously designed to be so.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A family that knows how to play together has the tools to stay together.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Industrialization created the “Father’s Catch-22”: a dad loving his children by being away from the love of his children.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The Industrial Revolution, then, took men’s occasional absence from home -- previously needed only in wartime and for hunting -- and made it the norm. This increasing division of labor magnified the division of men’s and women’s interests. It magnified the belief in the maternal instinct and the reality of the distant father. Prior to industrialization, divorces usually led to children living with dads. Not after.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Nothing threatens a father’s involvement in the family more than his obligation to be the family’s “financial womb,” creating “The Father’s ‘Catch-22’”: loving the family by being away from the family. It is the irony of traditional fatherhood: being a father by not being a father.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Creating fatherhood means creating a major psychological shift. Both sexes find it's difficult to fully share the psychological responsibility for the other sex's traditional role -- especially when the other sex is around. – page 90.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Implicit in the Hollywood formula of mom-by-option and dad-by-default is mom never at fault...to a fault.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“By starving our children of men, we have made them more vulnerable to the very abuse we are trying to prevent. – page 97.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“On an unconscious level, the demonization of sexuality usually implies the demonization of males and the victimization of females.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The less our sons our trusted, the less women are able to really love them, and the more women feel entitled to use them as wallets.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“On a deeper level, if our sons are learning they are obscene, disgusting, and untrustworthy, is this the best preparation for fatherhood? And is it the best preparation for becoming a mother -- to feel this way about her son?”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When we add the devaluation of male values to the demonizing of male sexuality, many boys feel like a pervert before they know who they are.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“In the past we believed both sexes were born with original sin. Today, we have come to unconsciously believe in the original sin of boys, but the original innocence of girls. – page 103.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“It is important for a father who feels pushed away to say, in effect, "When you do that, I feel unwanted as a father," or "I feel my rough-housing is not bad parenting; it's my contribution to helping our child take risks." Women cannot hear what men do not say. – page 105.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When our binoculars are focused on the dad as “deadbeat,” it often even leads us to missing concrete cues a dad gives to show his desire to be involved.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When we train men for war, we lose some part of every man we train -- even if we win the war. When we train men to be better nurturers, even men who fail the course will have won. And so will every child they ever meet. Training men to love is a nation’s best investment.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If we want our children to have a balance between their abilities to earn money and show love, it will help if both their parents model that balance. – page 114.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Dads in the family are even more important than women in the workplace: The workplace benefits from women, but the family needs dads.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Programs like TANF (Temporary Assistance to Needy Families, formerly known as AFDC) and WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) subsidize the exclusion of dads. In effect, they create, as we have seen, future welfare recipients. Or tax spenders.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Men are the Rosie-the-Riveters of parenting: They’re brought in only when needed, and considered disposable thereafter.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The more our children see men being paid to take responsibility for children, the more respectable it will be for men to do work compatible with their role as dads.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The Male Teacher Corps not only exposes children to men from a variety of professions, but exposes children to men with more risk-taking, entrepreneurial male energy and values, creating a balance between exposure to the male and female value systems.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“In a Stage I survival-focused world, a father needed to be a problem-solver. He needed to “tough it out” by denying feelings. He needed to persuade, argue, debate, set rules, distinguish right from wrong without flexibility. These skills made him “eligible,” they brought him a wife and children. In every sense of the word, these skills were his relationship language. Problem is, “toughing it out” fed his loved ones’ mouths, but didn’t nurture his loved ones’ souls.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“In a Stage II world, in communities in which survival is mastered enough to create a balance with self-fulfillment, we have the option of “relationship language” that nourishes the soul.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Although our grammar schools are teaching a whole generation computer language to adjust to the technological needs of a Stage II society, we have neglected to teach this generation relationship language and conflict resolution skills to address the social and psychological needs of a Stage II society. And when it is taught, in countries like Germany, although called “social competence” it focuses on workplace teamwork -- still on survival, breadwinner oriented work goals.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When I see dads being most effective with children, it is usually when they have an intuitive understanding that, for example, the car trip to and from the soccer game is potentially as important as the game itself.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Part of what a good dad can do, then, is to make sure that his daughter also gets involved with team sports, and to help her with the lessons in life that are innate to any team empowering itself. –page119.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Since no one is always right, always being right is really a role model for his children feeling inadequate.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I could be a much better role model by sharing more openly with him my shadow side, my faults, my mistakes, asking him to be my teacher rather than being his.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When a dad admits he is wrong or asks for help, he allows the child to see him- or herself as adequate even when she or he is also wrong. It encourages children to make suggestions and, therefore, to discover their creativity because they have a chance of making a contribution. – page 120.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Just as the Depression left a generation of dads feeling they never had enough money, so father deprivation is leaving a generation of sons and daughters with different psychic wounds.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“In brief, sending a father-deprived child into the world and assuming everything is okay because the dad provides money is like sending a drunken driver onto the highway and assuming everything is okay because the gas is paid for. It doesn’t mean that the drunken driver will not get to his or her destination. It just means that the risks are enormous. And the consequences of failure are forever.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Just as women needed the help of the law to enter the workplace in the 20th century, men will need the help of the law to love their children in the 21st century.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source