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Warren Farrell
593 quotes
“Laws with broad definitions of rape are like laws making 55 mile per hour speed limits for men and no speed limits for women.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Irony: While we increasingly hold people more responsible if they drink and drive, we hold women less responsible if they drink and have sex.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Sexually, of course, the sexes aren’t equal. It is exactly a woman’s greater sexual power that often makes a man so fearful of being rejected by her that he buys himself drinks to reduce his fear. In essence, her sexual power often leads to him drinking; his sexual power rarely leads to her drinking. If anything is evidence of her power over him, it is his being expected to spend his money to buy her drinks without her reciprocating.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“As long as society tells men to be the salespersons of sex, it is sexist for society to put only men in jail if they sell well. We don’t put other salespersons in jail for buying clients drinks and successfully transforming a “no” into a “maybe” into a “yes.” If the client makes a choice to drink too much and the “yes” turns out to be a bad decision, it is the client who gets fired, not the salesperson.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The most frequent way men are raped by adult women is "birth control rape.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Most rapes of men occur in prison. But even outside of prison, about 9 percent of reported rapes are against men (probably mostly by men, but no one knows for sure). Even rape outside of prison, then, is about as significant an issue for men as AIDS is for women—about 10 percent of the people dying of AIDS are women. Do we hear more about men being raped or about women getting AIDS?”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We do not yet understand that when we neglect men, we rape women.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The Ms. survey can call it a rape; a relationship counselor will call it a relationship.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The solution to all this is not criminalization but resocialization.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If the law tries to legislate our “yeses” and “noes” it will produce “the straitjacket generation” – a generation afraid to flirt, fearful of finding its love notes in a court suit. Date rape legislation will force suitors and courting to give way to courts and suing.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The Government as Substitute Husband did for women what labor unions still have not accomplished for men. And men pay dues for labor unions; the taxpayer pays the dues for feminism. Feminism and government soon become taxpayer-supported women’s unions.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Employers are NOT prohibited from practicing sex discrimination in hiring and promoting employees.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We have restricted humans from giving ‘free’ food to bears and dolphins because we know that such feeding would make them dependent and lead to their extinction. But when it comes to our own species, we have difficulty seeing the connection between short-term kindness and long-term cruelty; we give women money to have more children, making them more dependent with each child and discouraging them from developing the tools to fend for themselves. The real discrimination against women, then, is ‘free feeding’.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Many black men leave because they are financially responsible--not because they are emotionally irresponsible.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When a government subsidy deprives the child of its dad the government is really subsidizing child abuse.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“By giving women training to sue a company for a ‘hostile environment’ if someone tells a dirty joke, we are training women to run to the Government as Substitute Husband (or Father). This gets companies to fear women, but not to respect women. The best preparation we can give women to succeed in the workplace is the preparation to overcome barriers rather than to sue: successful people don’t sue, they succeed.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Ideally there should not be a men’s movement but a gender transition movement; only the power of the women’s movement necessitates the temporary corrective of a men’s movement. And this creates a special challenge for men: There are few political movements filled with healthy people, yet few healthy changes have occurred without political movements.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“With men, we blame the victim. We blame men because we have camouflaged men’s victimization by teaching men to also be the victimizer. Men’s victimizer status camouflages men’s victim status.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“addiction to female beauty and sex;”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“deprivation of the beautiful woman and sex with her until the man guarantees economic security in return; (...)”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“[H]umans tend to start the process of change by acknowledging themselves—thus blacks asserted black pride and black is beautiful; women declared I am woman, I am strong ; men are saying I am man, I am okay. After a quarter of a century of male bashing, that’s not a bad start.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When I eat a meal, I think of all the people whose labor has contributed to my nourishment, and that thought nourishes my appreciation. I hope it nourishes you too.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I feel awed by the mystery of being both so finite and yet so infinite, so much and so little, so conscious and yet, so coincidental.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“For me, the massiveness of what I don’t know is one way I experience God. It creates in me a feeling of humility and a sense of gratitude.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When I feel very loved, when I nurture and support people, my experience is deepened. I feel connected to a larger purpose and meaning.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When I lose my larger sense of supporting people to be their best, I lessen my contact with the God inside me.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“This is the first time in history that we’ve had this level of luxury, so we have a new opportunity to rethink the way we approach God.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“By attending to the conscious part of ourselves, we contribute to the peace of others as well as ourselves.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If my parents had made love a tenth of a second earlier or later, I wouldn’t exist. What an enormous miracle, just being given life.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Sometimes I have a feeling, when I look back on my life, that all I’ve been through has prepared me perfectly for just what I’m doing now.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“To me, God is the accumulated wisdom I've gathered throughout my life. When I pay attention, my body gives me a printout of this wisdom.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“In more than thirty years of conducting workshops, no one has ever said to me, “Warren, I want a divorce – my partner understands me.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A man becomes successful by repressing his feelings, not expressing his feelings.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When either sex suppresses the expression of feelings, it’s almost always b/c they don’t feel there is a safe environment to express them.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A man fears that conflict with his wife will lead to less intimacy, not more intimacy.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Our choice of partners is perhaps the clearest single statement of our choice of values. Therefore, when we blame our partner for anything, we should really be confronting ourselves. Not as in “Yes, I made a bad choice,” but as in “How does this choice reflect my values?”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If we have integrity about our desire to support men to express feelings, every institution and attitude between the sexes will require questioning and adjusting.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Humans have spent (10k+) years learning to fight and debate with the other side, and almost no time learning to listen and empathize.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“What’s true is that everyone is uncomfortable with expressing anger and being critical. Anger and criticism generates rejection. And everyone hates rejection.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When a woman appears to express fear, we cannot assure her without at least releasing her from responsibility; when we interpret the same emotion in a man as anger, we want to blame him and be certain he acknowledges responsibility. We want to find her guiltless; we want to find him guilty.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We are the offspring of approval-seekers. We want approval so badly that we vacillate between conforming to get it and standing out (being outstanding) to get it.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Tone of voice is more crucial than words.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If our binoculars search for our partner’s best intent, it will usually be found.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Any guy who’s played team sports has practiced a skill I call “team sport empathy”: he’s practiced focusing on anticipating the other team’s moves. That means figuring out their way of looking at the situation.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Empathy for women is an attribute of masculinity. When men play the protector role they are trying to save a woman from grief or pain. If they had no glimpse of her grief or pain, they wouldn’t know when to protect.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“It never occurs to most of us at a moment of disagreement with our partner to take the time to appreciate our partner’s positive character strengths as reflected in a stance we disagree with. When we do that, it allows our partner to know that no matter which decision she or he makes, our trust in their underlying character is never in question. It turns every disagreement into a potential gift of love.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When we give trust, we receive trust. And people who trust us pay attention to us.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“During what years should a child be introduced to better ways of giving and receiving criticisms – to what I call “relationship language”? Before school age. The best teacher? Parents.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Schools currently excel in encouraging children to express opinions, but are deficient in encouraging children to say, for example, “Oh, that’s different from my perspective – tell me more.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Teaching children to debate without teaching children to listen is divorce training.”
Warren Farrell (born 1943) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source