Famous quotes
Quotes by famous people, credited to who said them. Your own quotes must not match any of these. More are added all the time. 1,158,269 quotes Who coined it · How we decide
EnglishItalianoPolskiעבריתFrançaisPortuguêsفارسیEspañol中文РусскийDeutschالعربيةहिन्दी日本語ΕλληνικάLatina
Steve Martin
15 quotes
“The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need. My name in print. That really makes somebody. Things are going to start happening to me now!”
Steve Martin (born 1945) first seen 1979 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As Navin R. Johnson in The Jerk (1979)
“All of a sudden I had to remember some words that Marlowe had told me over fifteen years ago: "Dead men don't wear plaid." Hmm... Dead men don't wear plaid. I still don't know what it means.”
Steve Martin (born 1945) first seen 1982 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As Rigby Reardon in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1982)
“You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again.”
Steve Martin (born 1945) first seen 1983 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr in The Man with Two Brains (1983)
“A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true.”
Steve Martin (born 1945) first seen 1991 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As Harris K. Telemacher in L.A. Story (1991)
“Why is it we don't always recognize the moment when love begins, but we always know when it ends?”
Steve Martin (born 1945) first seen 1991 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As Harris K. Telemacher in L.A. Story (1991)
“Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman — it's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal's out of town.”
Steve Martin (born 1945) first seen 2001 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Hosting the 73rd Academy Awards (2001) [14:42]
“I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.”
Steve Martin (born 1945) first seen 2003 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Introducing the best adapted screenplay at the 2003 Academy Awards
“It was so sweet backstage, you should have seen it — The Teamsters were helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo.”
Steve Martin (born 1945) first seen 2003 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: After Moore's speech at the 75th Academy Awards, in 2003.
“People come up to me and say "Steve, what is film editing?" And I say "How should I know? You're the director.”
Steve Martin (born 1945) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You know, a lot of people come to me and they say: "Steve, how can you be so fucking funny?" There's a secret to it, it's no big deal. Before I go out, I put a slice of bologna in each of my shoes. So when I'm on stage, I feel funny.”
Steve Martin (born 1945) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
Steve Martin (born 1945) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Now let's repeat the non-conformists' oath: I promise to be different! [audience repeats] I promise to be unique! [audience repeats] I promise not to repeat things other people say! [audience repeats, laughs] Good!”
Steve Martin (born 1945) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“It's so hard to believe in anything anymore, you know what I mean? It's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, 'cause it seems so mythological, and seems so arbitrary; and then on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. — I guess I wouldn't believe in anything if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch. [Audience member]: What's your mood watch say? Martin: Yeah, I remember when I had my first beer.”
Steve Martin (born 1945) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening — or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning … But never at dusk! Never at dusk, I would never do that.”
Steve Martin (born 1945) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Comedy is not pretty.”
Steve Martin (born 1945) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source