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Scott Adams
115 quotes
“The public didn't know who said it first, but it was the most powerful question in human history. In nine words it overturned centuries of tortured logic and magical thinking. It pushed superstition into a cage and gave common sense room to maneuver. [...] The question was translated into thousands of languages, published billions of times. In English it was "If God is so smart, why do you fart?”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Facts don't matter. What matters is how you feel.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I want to be clear that I'm not expressing a preference for ignoring facts.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If your debate partner leaves the realm of fact and reason for any of the diversions I mentioned, you just won the debate. Declare victory and bow out.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A skilled persuader can blatantly ignore facts and policy details so long as the persuasion is skillful.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Master Persuaders move your energy to the topics that help them, independent of facts and reason.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A skilled persuader who understands both social media and the news business can easily stir the pot to create an advantage through chaos.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The things that have the most mental impact on you will irrationally seem as though they are high in priority, even if they are not. That's persuasion.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Did my persuasion make any difference? There is no way to tell.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Trump ignores facts whenever they are inconvenient. I know you don't want to think this works in terms of persuasion. But it does.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Trump can invent any reality he wants for the less important topics.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) first seen 1995 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: A Kind Word", in DNRC Newsletter #9 (December 1995)
“If there is one thing that our role models in this election have taught us, it's that omitting important information is completely different from lying.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The biggest issue in this election is something called flip-flopping, and all candidates are accused of doing it. A strong leader is expected to maintain steadfast resolve in his opinion even if the environment changes or he gets new information. In any other context, that would be considered the first sign of a brain tumor. When presidents do it, it's called leadership, and frankly, we can't get enough of it.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core belief that causes the problem; then mock that belief until the people who hold it insist that you heard them wrong.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The world isn't fair, but as long as it's tilting in my direction I find that there's a natural cap to my righteous indignation.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“They say that dogs lick their own genitalia because they can. But I think it's at least partially because they don't have the Internet.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If an economist uses a complicated model to predict just about anything, you can ignore it. By analogy, a doctor can’t tell you the exact date of your death in 50 years. But if a doctor tells you to eat less and exercise more, that’s good advice even if you later get hit by a bus. Along those same lines, economists can give useful general advice on the economy, even if you know there will be surprises. Still, be skeptical.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) first seen 2008 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Press release, 10 September 2008
“My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You might think the word “homemade” is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don’t realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that’s why.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We know the goats are imported because they don’t speak English.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If you think it’s easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you’ve probably never tried.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If you have questions about this salad, give your server the spinach inquisition.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Named after the great romaine emperor, Julius Salad.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We smoke the bacon so you don’t have to.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“This sandwich used to include endive, but no one wanted to eat a BELT.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Our salmon sandwiches are so good you’ll want to swim upstream to our kitchen and spawn. But please don’t.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We use only the finest days of the week in this dish.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“This dish might not turn you into a syndicated cartoonist, but whatever you’re doing now probably isn’t working either.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If you don’t believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Stacey puts a little love in each pasta shell. But it’s self-love, so it won’t help you that much.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Biblical scholars tell us that this is the same meal that Jesus ate at the last supper. But hey, I’m sure you have a good reason for ordering something else.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Our scallops are so delicious your mouth will thank you, which is creepy because your mouth can actually talk.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The basic concept of the Dilbert Principle is that the most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management. This has not proved to be the winning strategy that you might think.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) first seen 1995 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Dilbert Principle", The Wall Street Journal (22 May 1995)
“The reality is that women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently. It's just easier this way for everyone. You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Years later, when "Dilbert" was in thousands of newspapers, people often asked me if I ever imagined being so lucky. I usually said no, because that's the answer people expected. The truth is that I imagined every bit of good fortune that has come my way. But in my imagination I also invented a belt that would allow me to fly and had special permission from Congress to urinate like a bird wherever I wanted. I wake up every morning disappointed that I have to wear pants and walk. Imagination has a way of breeding disappointment.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“But history has turned on a few people—like the Founding Fathers and Jesus Christ come to mind—who used the same tricks: They describe to people a better vision of themselves. And Trump fits into that [model] in the most direct way you could possibly do. He’s saying, "You're an American, I'm going to make you feel great".”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) first seen 2015 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: On Donald Trump, interviewed for "'Dilbert' Creator on How Trump Is Like The Founding Fathers & Jesus" The Daily Beast (September 14, 2015, updated July 12, 2017)
“I am saying: I see a flame thrower. I think the flame thrower guy wins in the stick fight.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When you understand persuasion ... the truth is not as useful as it should be ...”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I think New Yorkers are more provocative in every way.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If Biden is elected, there's a good chance you will be dead within the year. Republicans will be hunted. Police will stand down.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) first seen 2020 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Tweet (July 1, 2020), as cited in "The Worst Political Predictions of 2021", Politico (December 24, 2021)
“Much of politics is about hating imaginary people.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I thought it was true until I saw it in the news.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“[P]olitics is about winning the definitions of words.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“When a young male (let’s say 14 to 19) is a danger to himself and others, society gives the supporting family two options [...] 1. Watch people die. 2. Kill your own son. Those are your only options. I chose #1 and watched my stepson die. I was relieved he took no one else with him.”
Scott Adams (1957–2026) said by 2026 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source