Famous quotes
Quotes by famous people, credited to who said them. Your own quotes must not match any of these. More are added all the time. 1,158,269 quotes Who coined it · How we decide
EnglishItalianoPolskiעבריתFrançaisPortuguêsفارسیEspañol中文РусскийDeutschالعربيةहिन्दी日本語ΕλληνικάLatina
Rita Rudner
16 quotes
“We did long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we decided to buy a dog. Cheaper, and… get more feet.”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) first seen 1995 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist, "Real Estate" [2.02], 29 October 1995
“I love being married, I do. It's so great to find that one special person that you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) first seen 2003 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Best of the Improv, Vol. 3 (2003)
“Well, the old theory was "marry an older man because they're more mature". But the new theory is "men don't mature — marry a young one".”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) first seen 2003 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Best of the Improv, Vol. 3 (2003)
“My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Whenever I date a guy, I think, "Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married, and I didn't want him to.”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“To me, life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“[One of my friends] was in labor for 36 hours. (I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.)”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary; the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I don't even know how this word came into being: "aerobics". I guess gym instructors got together and said, "If we're going to charge ten dollars an hour, we can't call it 'jumping up and down'.”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Nobody is really happy with what's on their head. People with straight hair want curly, people with curly want straight, and bald people want everyone to be blind.”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men — how about "New Car Interior"?”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I had teeth that stuck out so far, I used to eat other kids' candy bars by accident.”
Rita Rudner (born 1953) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source