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Pat Condell
91 quotes
“I don't respect your beliefs and I don't care if you're offended.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“My name is Patrick, and I'm a biped carbon-based life form. In my spare time I enjoy walking upright and being warm-blooded, and I'm a Scorpio.* I live here … on planet Earth, a piece of rock orbiting a giant fireball in the middle of nowhere. I feel I belong here.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I admire anyone who's genuinely trying to achieve spiritual enlightenment and live a peaceful life. But religious dogma is a barrier to that. The last thing a dogmatist wants is for anyone to be enlightened, any more than a pharmaceutical company wants anybody cured.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2006 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Time Out London" (2006)
“If you're looking at the Bible for a guide to living a compassionate, wise and humane life, well, frankly you've got more chance of finding a lap dancing club in Mecca or a virgin in a catholic orphanage.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2007 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: What have I got against religion?" (4 March 2007)
“It seems to me that if God had intended for you to cover your face then, in His wisdom, He would have provided you with a flap of skin for the purpose.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2007 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The trouble with Islam" (16 March 2007)
“One person I do feel a little sorry for, though, is the Archbishop of Canterbury, the most important clergyman in Britain and he's only got two lousy palaces to live in. What sort of life is that for a man of God? I bet if Jesus came back, even he'd be embarrassed for him; I bet he wouldn't be able to look him in the eye.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2007 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Religion in the UK" (17 April 2007)
“Here in the UK, we've now got an evangelical television channel — it's the kind of thing that will be very familiar to everyone in the United States, especially if you've ever turned on your TV set on a Sunday morning, and seen one holy man after another, urging you to send money so that Jesus can buy a new Cadillac. Apparently, Jesus can't save the world until he's been properly kitted out with a million-dollar mansion, and a private jet — some small print in the Gospels that we must have missed.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2007 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: In Jesus' name" (25 April 2007)
“Right now, especially in the Middle East, things are shaping up quite nicely to blow us all to kingdom come. Except no Kingdom is going to come because this is the Kingdom, it has already come and we are already living the dream. Religion knows this but it doesn't want us to know it because then it would no longer have any reason to exist. So instead, it seeks to position itself between us and our experience; a self-appointed filter, a parasite.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2007 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Absolute certainty" (13 May 2007)
“But if I could make just one small positive suggestion. Everybody knows that Saudi Arabia is very rich in certain mineral deposits — notably of course, sand. Oh my goodness, it's got so much sand, it could export the stuff. Or, even better, it could import a load of water and cement, mix itself into a giant block of concrete, and do us all a huge favour.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2007 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Why are we friends with Saudi Arabia?" (14 May 2007)
“What is the difference between a Doctor of Medicine and a Doctor of Theology? One prescribes drugs, while the other might as well be on drugs.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2007 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: God bless atheism" (3 August 2007)
“According to current birthrate projections, France will be a majority Muslim country anyway in about 50 years... I get a lot of e-mails from Americans who think that Europeans are spineless. And I think they're right.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2007 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Islam in Europe" (17 August 2007)· transcript
“I do feel somewhat guilty that I'm not more grateful to Jesus, but I just wish he had asked me before he went ahead with it [being crucified], because now I feel like I'm being billed for something I didn't order. Because that's the deal, isn't it? If you're a Christian, you're born already in debt to Jesus, and it's a debt you can only repay, in full, by dying. That's some deal you've got yourself into there; that's like being asked to pay off a mortgage for a house you already own.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2007 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Hello angry Christians" (26 September 2007)
“Well it's a gloomy, rainy old day to be here in London, but it could be worse; I could be in Saudi Arabia where men are men, and women are cattle.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2007 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: More demands from Islam" (9 October 2007)
“This guy (Pat Robertson) obviously wants to be a prophet so bad. I wonder if he walks around at home dressed up in a bed sheet, talking Aramaic, maybe parting the waters in the bathtub occasionally, just to keep in practice?”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2008 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Hook, line and rapture" (8 January 2008)
“On the other hand, and let's face it, there's always another hand, unless you're a Saudi Arabian shoplifter of course, hurt feelings can be quite traumatic. I've heard that it can take seconds, sometimes even minutes, to get over it.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2008 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: O dhimmi Canada" (19 January 2008)
“So I really don't care what [God's] got to say about anything, and if he came clumping down from heaven right now in a big pair of hobnail boots, waving the book of Judges in my face, I'd simply tell him what I tell every other evangelising prick I meet: "No thanks. I'm not interested in your phony salvation. I'd prefer damnation. Now piss off, I've got some sinning to do.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2008 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: God the psycho" (2 February 2008)
“If we can't bring ourselves to say what's in our hearts when it truly matters, then we've already given up our freedom and with it the freedom of future generations, which is something that we've got no right to do. We didn't earn this freedom; it was handed to us on a plate by people who did earn it with their lives. We don't own it; we're custodians of it: it's not ours to give away.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2008 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Appeasing Islam" (8 March 2008)
“So, I hope the Hindus have it right, because if there's any justice in this world, you will be reincarnated as a female, homosexual Jew, and then you'll find out what a pain it is having to deal with violent, primitive dickheads like you.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2008 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Statement to to domestically violent Muslim men, in "The religion of fear" (31 March 2008)
“Being called closed-minded by religious people is a bit like being called yellow by a bunch of bananas.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2008 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Take your God and shove him..." (21 August 2008)
“So, what do you think the British government did in the face of this open threat to public order? Go on, have a guess. That's right, they caved in like a bunch of spineless pussies! I couldn't have put it better myself.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2009 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Freedom go to hell" (13 February 2009)
“It's at times like this, isn't it, when you realize just how much we need the United Nations — about as much as we need an ear infection...Freedom of thought, freedom of speech, freedom of identity. This is my Holy Trinity, each one an intrinsic aspect of my god: Freedom, the Holiest of Holies. Yes it bloody well is. It is absolutely sacred and inviolable, beyond any negotiation or compromise, now and forever. Amen.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2009 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Free speech is sacred" (17 March 2009)
“The whole point of female concealment in Islamic society is that men are not expected to take responsibility for their sexual urges, so any woman who is not covered up from head to toe is asking to be raped. The burka, therefore, legitimises rape. It apologises for rape. It justifies rape. Are you listening, feminists? And this makes it, in my opinion, as offensive a public statement as a Ku Klux Klan uniform or a Nazi swastika, and I think it should be treated with exactly the same revulsion and contempt.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2009 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Apologists for evil" (23 June 2009)
“You know, I found out recently that the word "heretic" comes from the Greek word "airetikós", meaning "able to choose" — which pretty much says it all, don't you think?”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2009 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The arrogance of clergy" (2 October 2009)
“Sharia … is, of course, invalid because it's God's Law, and God doesn't exist.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2009 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Wake up, America" (22 October 2009)
“I don't think it's possible to be too aggressive in defending freedom of speech, which is ... much, much more sacred than any god, or prophet, or scripture, could or will ever be, from now until the end of time, or for eternity: whichever lasts longer.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2009 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Aggressive Atheism" (28 November 2009)
“People keep framing this as a religious freedom issue, but there's a difference between practising your religion — which everyone has the right to do — and rubbing your religion in people's faces as a triumphalist political statement, which is what's happening here.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2010 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Bad faith at Ground Zero (28 August 2010)]
“I oppose Islam, for the simple reason that Islam opposes me and everything I believe in. I don't care how Muslims feel about that. I don't care how anyone feels about it, nor should I be required to. In my opinion, Islam's disgusting treatment of women is a crime against humanity, nothing less. It's a thousand percent wrong, there's no grey area, it's unconscionable and unforgivable, and it's poisoning the whole world. It's not different or relative, it's backward and uncivilised. There's no excuse for it, and no excuse for defending it.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2010 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Free speech in Europe" (10 November 2010)
“'Faith' is merely fear dressed up as virtue.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2010 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Your faith is a joke" (16 December 2010)
“Religion disapproves of original thought the way Dracula disapproves of sunlight.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2011 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As quoted in Matt Hern, The Wit and Blasphemy of Atheists (2011), p. 86
“They shouldn't need photographs to prove this guy is dead. They should have kept the body. They should have brought the son-of-a-bitch back to New York, pickled him in alcohol, and mounted him on top of the Ground Zero mosque with a pork chop in his mouth and a fireman's axe up his ass — or is that just me? Facing Mecca, of course, because we wouldn't want to be disrespectful.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2011 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Justice for Osama" (8 May 2011)
“The fact that a Jewish state needs to exist at all — and it does need to exist — is an indictment of all humanity, and especially the Catholic Church, whose centuries-long program of aggressive Jew hatred has been ingrained right into the European psyche so that it takes almost nothing to bring it out.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2011 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Let's blame the Jews" (26 May 2011)
“Anyone who criticisms Islam publicly can expect to be threatened with physical violence. If that's not terrorism, then what is it? In the world of the cultural terrorist, if you oppose the oppression of women and minorities, you're an enemy of religious freedom; if you despise violent superstition, you're a racist; and if you reject religious totalitarianism, you have a mental illness. Let me tell you something, when you get to the stage where anyone criticising your beliefs is automatically deemed to have a mental illness, that is a sure sign of mental illness.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2011 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Islamic cultural terrorism" (15 June 2011)
“Andy and his little gang of bearded apes have made it clear that they intend to patrol the streets of London enforcing Sharia and preventing people going about their lawful business. I'll be interested to see how that works out for them. I've known a few Eastenders in my time, and I can't think of anyone — with the possible exception of Geordies (that's people from Newcastle) — who are less likely to tolerate having their pint of beer, their betting shop and their song and dance interfered with by a bunch of puffed-up bearded blowfish in pyjamas. And that's just the women.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2011 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Sharia poster boy" (29 July 2011)
“One guy said, "I'm from Saudi Arabia and I'm proud of my country." Well, good for you, but forgive me for asking why. If you live in Saudi Arabia, what on Earth have you got to be proud of? If you couldn't dig money straight out of the ground, you'd all be starving. The only thing your country has to offer the world is oil. Well, it's not the only thing, but we don't need any sand, and we're all up to here with Jihad, thanks very much.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2012 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Hello Saudi Arabia" (2 May 2012)
“The free exchange of opinion and information is the very lifeblood of the society to which you owe everything you have. It's the oxygen that gives us clarity and strength. Restricting it is like closing down synapses in the collective brain. It's an act of sabotage and nobody has the right to do it any more than they have the right to arbitrarily ration water or air. No judge, no politician, no police officer and certainly no braying mob of sanctimonious, privileged, middle-class, left-wing, students who think they know best for everyone.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2013 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: A word to left-wing students" (11 July 11 2013)
“I think we've turned into a society of craven cowards. I hope that doesn't offend. Actually, I hope it does offend … because, you see, I can still remember the shock of the Rushdie Affair 25 years ago. The very idea that anybody could be killed for writing a book was surreal and horrific. Now we take it for granted that if you say the wrong thing about the religion of peace you'll get death threats and you might actually be killed, so you keep your mouth shut if you know what's good for you. All for the sake of tolerance and diversity, of course.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2014 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: A society of cowards" (12 March 2014) · transcript
“Jews abused and attacked on the streets of European cities... Muslim mobs attacking synagogues... Nobody gives a damn about Jews and they never have, which is why the Holocaust was allowed to happen in the first place.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2015 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: A New Kind of Hate" (27 January 2015)
“if a Swedish news editor was ever gang raped by Muslim immigrants it would be hard not to laugh.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2015 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: twitter.com (15 March 2015)
“Transgender” is a fashionable mental disorder being presented to kids as a legitimate medical condition. Shameful.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2015 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: twitter.com (29 October 2015)
“The marauding third world savages who terrorise people in their own homes are victims now? Tell somebody who cares.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2016 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: twitter.com (12 February 2016)
“Dear subhuman white people, you are the new niggers. Get to the back of the bus.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2017 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: twitter.com (14 February 2017)
“The @guardian thinks it’s OK to facilitate an illegal invasion of Europe by hordes of violent fighting age third world savages. Every one of those NGO boats should be at the bottom of the Mediterranean.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2017 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: twitter.com (20 December 2017)
“the rest of us shouldn’t be compelled to participate in the fantasy and pretend that men can become women and women can become men. They can’t.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2018 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Twitter.com (7 July 2018)
“Political Correctness is Cultural Marxism in action.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2018 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Curse Of Cultural Marxism" (7 July 2018)
“are not women. They are men with mental problems.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2019 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Twitter.com (5 March 2019)
“This is absurd. There is nothing far-right about . is a far-left hate group on the same moral level as the thugs of #Antifa. Same views. Same stripe. They are the real fascists.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2019 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Twitter.com (27 July 2019)
“This House of Commons is a house of frauds. They have destabilised our society by trying to cheat us out of the result of the most important vote any of us have ever taken part in. Political vermin is by no means too strong a term.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2019 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Twitter.com (13 September 2019)
“Black privilege means that you get to take the knee, raise a fist, and smear millions of decent English people as racists.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2020 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Twitter.com (19 June 2020)
“Western civilisation was not built on slavery. It was built on free thought, ingenuity, and enterprise. Our society was the first to outlaw slavery. Two centuries later we have nothing to apologise for, and we don’t need to compensate anybody for anything.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2020 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: (19 July 2020)
“It does seem quite ironic to me that the very people who have made no attempt to think for themselves, are always the most vocal in demanding respect for their "ideas". But some Muslims go further than this and claim that they're being victimized in British society. But I don't really believe that's true. I do think a lot of people are getting fed up of hearing about Muslims all the time, and wish that Muslims would just shut up and get on with their lives, instead of constantly belly-aching about nothing, but that's not the same as being victimized. But because we live in a liberal democracy and therefore have certain double standards to maintain, any criticism of Islam or of Muslims always draws the immediate accusation of Islamophobia, a dishonest word which seeks to portray legitimate comment as some kind of hate crime.”
Pat Condell (born 1949) first seen 2007 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The trouble with Islam" (16 March 2007)