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Kin Hubbard

20 quotes

“Never tell the box-office man that you can't hear well or he will sell you a seat where you can't see either.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) first seen 1911 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Short Furrows (1911).
“Nobuddy ever listened t' reason on a empty stomach.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) first seen 1913 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: From Abe Martin's "Short Furrows", The American Magazine, February 1913.
“Flattery won’t hurt you if you don’t swallow it.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) first seen 1913 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Short Furrows (1913)‎
“It's purty hard t' be efficient without bein' obnoxious.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) first seen 1913 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Short Furrows (1913)
“Ther's still a few honest folks left but they never seem t' find anything you lose.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) first seen 1913 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Short Furrows (1913).
“If at first you do succeed don't take any more chances.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) first seen 1914 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Back Country Folks (1914).
“Now an' then an innocent man is sent t' th' legislature.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) first seen 1914 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Back Country Folks (1914)
“Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty, while bein' above suspicion is about th' only compensation fer bein' homely.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) first seen 1914 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Abe Martin's Primer : The Collected Writings of Abe Martin and his Brown County, Indiana, Neighbors (1914)
“Don't knock th' weather. Nine-tenths o' th' people couldn' start a conversation if it didn' change once in a while.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) first seen 1914 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Abe Martin's Primer : The Collected Writings of Abe Martin and his Brown County, Indiana, Neighbors (1914).
“Some people are so sensitive that they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) first seen 1916 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: New Sayings by Abe Martin and Velma's Vow: A gripping love tale by Miss Fawn Lippincut (1916).
“Th' only way t' entertain some folks is t' listen t' 'em.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) first seen 1916 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: New Sayings by Abe Martin and Velma's Vow: A Gripping Love Tale by Miss Fawn Lippincut (1916).
“When a fellow says, "It hain't the money, but th' principle o' the thing," it's th' money.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) first seen 1926 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Hoss Sense and Nonsense (1926).
“Bees are not as busy as we think they are. They jest can't buzz any slower.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) said by 1930 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As quoted in Reading I've Liked : A Personal Selection Drawn from Two Decades of Reading (1941) by Clifton Fadiman, p. 827.
“Some folks can look so busy doin' nothin' that they seem indispensable.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) said by 1930 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As quoted in Saturday Review‎ (18 March 1944), p. 19
“Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) said by 1930 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As quoted in The Book of Unusual Quotations (1957) by Rudolf Franz Flesch, p. 8.
“Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) said by 1930 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As quoted in The Book of Unusual Quotations (1957) by Rudolf Franz Flesch, p. 47.
“Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) said by 1930 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As quoted in Peter's People (1979) by Laurence J. Peter, p. 28.
“We’d all like t’vote fer th’best man, but he’s never a candidate.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) said by 1930 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Best of Kin Hubbard (1984) Variant: We'd all like to vote for the best man but he's never a candidate.
“Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) said by 1930 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As quoted in Geary's Guide to the World's Great Aphorists‎ (2007) by James Geary, p. 39
“Nine-tenths of our crimes an' calamities are made possible by th' automobile. It has unleashed all th' pent-up criminal tendencies o' th' ages. It's th' central figure in murders, hold-ups, burglaries, accidents, elopements, failures an' abscondments. It has well nigh jimmed th' American home.... No girl is missin' that wuzn' last seen steppin' in a strange automobile.... An' ther hain't a day rolls by that somebuddy hain't sellin' ther sewin' machine, or ther home, or somethin' t' pay on an automobile.... Maybe th' jails an' workhouses are empty, but that's not because th' world is gittin' better. It's because all th' criminals escape in automobiles.”
Kin Hubbard (1868–1930) said by 1930 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Writing as his character, "th' Hon. Ex.-Editur Cale Fluhart." as quoted in The American Humorist : Conscience of the Twentieth Century (1964) by Norris W. Yeats, p. 107.