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Karl Pilkington
154 quotes
“Don't be chucking that out. You might need that later - Karl interprets the phrase Waste not, want not.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If you live in a glass house, don't be chucking stuff about. - Karl interprets the phrase Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“People who live in a glass house have to answer the door - Karl invents his own phrase based on Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Whoop, there's an elephant in the room”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You don't have to do it straight away, but just do it before it gets really bad - Karl re-evaluates the phrase A stitch in time saves nine.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A stitch in five saves fifteen or whatever - Another re-evaluation by Karl of the phrase 'A stitch in time saves nine'”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The best thing you can do is look after yourself. Get on with it.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Language is a powerful thing init...er...”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Could the world fall?”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“It serves a purpose.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You build up to it, don't you? You have that bit of a chat, and you go alright? Hows it going?. You get on an' that and then a little baby pops out.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“On homosexuals- They're more up for a bit more experimentation an' that -Podcast Series 1 Episode 2”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“On homosexuals- I'm still none the wiser as to why they do that - Video Podcast|Video Podcast 5”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I was walking past a sex shop an' that. One, it was open early which I never understood, it was about eight o'clock in the morning. Who needs butt plugs then?”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“(After chatting about the Serbian sex machine invention and Karl said 'Did it have to be a woman or could they have got a gay fella in - butt plugs and that')..”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“All I'm sayin is.. I've since found out what they do do with 'em.. and if they do do that with them.. give 'em a go on that.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The reason there are so many gyms in London is because the amount of gay people who are here now.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If it's all about arse, why don't gays like a little bit of tit?”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) first seen 2004 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Xfm 10 January 2004
“I was walking home the other night, and I was thinking about it, and do you worry that when you're old you will be on your own?”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) first seen 2001 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Xfm 10 November 2001
“If he's 27 today, he would have been 26 last week, and he doesn't look 26. He didn't look 26 last week, and he looks older than 28 today.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) first seen 2001 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Xfm 24 November 2001
“From someone whose dad buys him a spade for Christmas, I thought you'd be grateful!”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) first seen 2001 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Xfm 15 December 2001
“Were you a tall baby?”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) first seen 2002 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Xfm 12 January 2002
“Yeah, we'll do that, Lanky.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) first seen 2002 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Xfm 23 March 2002
“Well, you took me to the BAFTAs. Yeah, but only cos no-one else would probably wanna go with you.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) first seen 2002 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Xfm 26 October 2002
“The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) first seen 2003 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Xfm 21 June 2003
“Is there anyone else that you look like, Steve, or would you say you're a bit of a one-off?”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) first seen 2003 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Xfm 28 June 2003
“On Steve's dancing ability- er, it's just like a bit of weird art”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Like I say, the first time I saw Steve I was never havin' a go, it was just, 'oh that's different' but you know, Steve, I was never havin' a go, it's just that thing, 'oh right interesting'”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) first seen 2002 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Xfm 09 November 2002
“The Web is the new book though, innit?”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) first seen 2002 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Xfm 30 November 2002
“We've invented most of the stuff that we need and now we're just messing about”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Just pop it on your wrist. - Ricky asks Karl how his 'invention' of a watch that counts down your life would actually work.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“It's not going to change the world. But neither did the egg-cup.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I think it's clever how Rome have kept a load of old stuff. There's no overheads, yet people are going over there to see it.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Whats good with a holiday right.. say if you work in a factory from 8 in the morning till 8 at night, packin socks into a rubber bag right.. between 8 and.. what time did i say he finishes?”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“It was good to know that if everything did go tits up, there's someone else in the world who would put up with me”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“What do dogs do? Sniff each other's arse. They don't knock about going "Let's try a chatup line.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Get married, get on with it, email us the pictures, we're happy to have a look.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I've got to make sure the groom's hat's on straight." That's when you know an event's overstaffed.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I'm really happy, I just don't choose to show it.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If you had 5 photos of anuses, I could not point mine out”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“This isn't Amazon where you can go "I'm not happy with the product" and pop it back in the post. Thats it, you've got it”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Who's the mental one here? Is it me, or everyone else?”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I'm surprised that I won the race to the egg. I'm not a good swimmer. If I was back in there now I'd go forget it, let them lot go first.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I've got a fat head. There's nothing I can do about it.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“12 hours on a plane, over 5,000 miles. All this way you've got me licking fish.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“My brain's just full of passwords”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source