Famous quotes
Quotes by famous people, credited to who said them. Your own quotes must not match any of these. More are added all the time. 1,158,269 quotes Who coined it · How we decide
EnglishItalianoPolskiעבריתFrançaisPortuguêsفارسیEspañol中文РусскийDeutschالعربيةहिन्दी日本語ΕλληνικάLatina
Karl Pilkington
154 quotes
“It's like a pylon. 144px|thumb|right|It's like a pylon.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If that was on my road the council would be like "Get that down, its a deathtrap!”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Ricky: You are the strangest man alive.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Karl: You've never been to China.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“...but it’s all about ‘a gorilla and a fox are walking thru the woods.’ How often does that happen?”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“That's the problem with them fables, they're putting animals together that wouldn't meet. I don't know where a scorpion is knockin' around with a frog.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Well...like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again...”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) first seen 2001 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Xfm 1 December 2001
“By 78 you've done everything you're going to do. If you haven't bungee-jumped by the time you're 78 you're not going to do it.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“All I'm saying is that old people need to be old people. You need oldness. You need to see old people. You need to go Right, they might have a solution they've been on the earth longer. Quick, we need an answer. How old are yer? - I'm 32 - Well you look 78!”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If anythin', like I said, he didn't do us a favour, he saved too much. You can't move out there for stuff (Referring to Noah saving every animal)”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If I was Noah, I would have gone, Hang on a minute, I've just seen somethin' that looks a bit like this, let it drown, have a bit of a clear out, but he was messin' about savin' everythin'”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) first seen 2005 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Xfm 11 June 2005
“You know how they say people have six senses? There's loads more than that. [The ability to feel someone looking at you], that's been around since man and dinosaur were knockin' about.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“On identical twins - You always get a little snidey one.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“On dopplegangers - How would I know which one I was?”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“On dopplegangers - No because only it would only get me into trouble won't it? Because people won't believe there's another one like me. Otherwise everyone would be saying that when they get caught robbing, they go Oh it wasn't me it was me doppleganger.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“At some point, somethin has had it away with a leaf [Karl's explanation of an insect which has evolved to look like a leaf to protect itself from predators]”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Karl's diary - Woke up at 9.55am. Soon as I woke up, I looked at Suzanne and she looked at me. I said, Did I tell you about the immune system? Suzanne starting laughing, I said it's amazing. She said, Not now.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“He got hot, he got so hot his lips fell off.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Karl: I came up with a good idea....see through skin”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“(On Ricky asking him to do a diary next year)No I wouldn't, you know, cos you do the same stuff ever year don't ya? It's set up the same way: January, February it's the same thing, it's the same routine”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“It's just easier to put stuff off once we've got this calendar, whereas if we didnt have a date you'd have to do everythin' straight away”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Say if I was in charge and someone said that buildin' needs knockin' down, it's dangerous, if we didn't have a calendar we'd go 'erm let's do it now then.' Whereas cos we've got a calendar it's easy to say...'next Wednesday'”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I wouldn't put a date on that pancake day anyway, just av 'em when you want, have it when you want. There's no big deal. You've got to make 'em yourself, it's not like some place is openin' to do it. Have em when you want. I don't know why that's got a special day on it,sick-of-it”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“As long as you're rememberin' baby Jesus, does it matter when you're rememberin' 'im[Karl on how he hates Christmas being the same date each year]”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it; December 25th”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The first time you watch it you'll probably cry a bit. The second time you watch it you will probably think - boy that would be bad having a head like that being picked on - the third time you are probably thinking, er, how does he get his jumper on, er, then dunno probably bored of it the fourth time. But, but it's well worth watching.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) first seen 2002 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Xfm 07 December 2002
“The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) first seen 2002 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Xfm 21 December 2002
“Treat the world like a head”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We're just a weed in the universe”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I could eat a knob at night.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“But hummus. When did that happen?...but there's a restaurant down the road that that's all they do. That is isn't a proper meal, that's a side-order innit? That's like having a restaurant just floggin' tomato ketchup. Hummus isn't a meal. They don't even try and kid ya to get you in to flog you just hummus, they actually say Oh it's hummus today. Not gonna work, they shut down within a month.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Hypothetical: Shipwrecked and eating a penis- ...I'll look for something else. We're surrounded by water. Why are we eating knob?”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday — what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage!”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“On cutting open avocados- It's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Karl's Diary - Read about a pub which is gettin' some stick 'cause its stopped a horse goin' in. Its been the horse' regular for ages, but some new owners have taken over the pub and they said they're servin' fresh food and don't want a horse in there anymore”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I look at life like a big book and sometimes you get half way through it and go 'Even though I've been enjoying it, I've had enough. Give us another book'”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I'm just sayin', I don't like fun”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time?”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You can be an ugly baby and everyone goes awww innit nice? There was some women in a cafe the other week that I was sat in, and she came up and she sat down with her mate and she was talkin' loudly goin' on about oh the baby's lovely. They said it's got, er, lovely big eyes, er, really big hands and feet. Now that doesn't sound like a nice baby to me. I felt like sayin' it sounds like a frog. But I thought I dont know her, there's only so much you can say to a stranger. I dont know what kept me from sayin' it.”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Just been into the zoo, 'avin a look round an that. Went into the, er, into the aquarium. Mental, the amount of fish that are knockin' about”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“My auntie Nora right, all her food is mashed. She's got teeth but she don't need 'em [Karl on how his auntie blends her food and never uses her teeth]”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I think some bacteria have better lives than that [Karls interpretation on the life of an innuit]”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?”
Karl Pilkington (born 1972) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source