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Jonathan Swift
136 quotes
“She has more goodness in her little finger, than he has in his whole body.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Lord, I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing!”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“They say a carpenter's known by his chips.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I'll give you leave to call me anything, if you don't call me "spade".”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“May you live all the days of your life.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I have fed like a farmer: I shall grow as fat as a porpoise.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I always love to begin a journey on Sundays, because I shall have the prayers of the church to preserve all that travel by land, or water.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I know Sir John will go, though he was sure it would rain cats and dogs.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I thought you and he were hand-in-glove.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1659 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Earlier proverb, quoted in James Howell's English Proverbs (1659)
“'T is happy for him that his father was before him.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There is none so blind as they that won't see.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“She watches him as a cat would watch a mouse.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“She pays him in his own coin.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There was all the world and his wife.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Sharp's the word with her.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There's two words to that bargain.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Hic depositum est Corpus IONATHAN SWIFT S.T.D. Hujus Ecclesiæ Cathedralis Decani, Ubi sæva Indignatio Ulterius Cor lacerare nequit, Abi Viator Et imitare, si poteris, Strenuum pro virili Libertatis Vindicatorem.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1740 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Latin epitaph for himself (1740)
“When I behold this I sighed, and said within myself, "Surely mortal man is a broomstick!" Nature sent him into the world strong and lusty, in a thriving condition, wearing his own hair on his head, the proper branches of this reasoning vegetable, till the axe of intemperance has lopped off his green boughs, and left him a withered trunk; he then flies to art, and puts on a periwig, valuing himself upon an unnatural bundle of hairs, all covered with powder, that never grew on his head; but now should this our broomstick pretend to enter the scene, proud of those birchen spoils it never bore, and all covered with dust, through the sweepings of the finest lady's chamber, we should be apt to ridicule and despise its vanity. Partial judges that we are of our own excellencies, and other men's defaults!”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1703 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Meditation on a Broomstick (1703–1710)
“It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffeehouse, for the voice of the kingdom. The city coffeehouses have been for some years filled with people, whose fortunes depend upon the Bank, East-India, or some other stock. Every new fund to these, is like a new mortgage to a usurer, whose compassion for a young heir, is exactly the same with that of a stockjobber to the landed gentry. At the court end of the town, the like places of resort are frequented either by men out of place, and consequently enemies to the present ministry, or by officers of the army: no wonder then if the general cry, in all such meetings, be against any peace, either with Spain or without; which, in other words, is no more than this; that discontented men desire another change of ministry; that soldiers would be glad to keep their commissions; and that the creditors have money still, and would have the debtors borrow on at the old extorting rate, while they have any security to give.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1711 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Conduct of the Allies (1711)
“I have employed my time, besides ditching, in finishing, correcting, amending, and transcribing my Travels, in four parts complete, newly augmented, and intended for the press, when the world shall deserve them, or rather when a printer shall be found brave enough to venture his ears. I like the scheme of our meeting after distresses and dispersions; but the chief end I propose to myself in all my labours is to vex the world rather than divert it; and if I could compass that design, without hurting my own person or fortune, I would be the most indefatigable writer you have ever seen, without reading.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1725 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Letter to Alexander Pope (29 September 1725)
“ALL Rivers go to the Sea, but none return from it. Xerxes wept when he beheld his Army, to consider that in less than a Hundred Years they would be all Dead. Anacreon was' Choakt with a Grape-stone, and violent Joy Kills as well as violent Grief. There is nothing in this World constant but Inconstancy; yet Plato thought that if Virtue would appear to the World in her own native Dress, all Men would be Enamoured with her. But now since Interest governs the World, and Men neglect the Golden Mean, Jupiter himself, if he came on the Earth would be Despised, unless it were as he did to Danae in a Golden Shower. For Men nowadays Worship the Rising Sun, and not the Setting.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“So, naturalists observe, a flea Has smaller fleas that on him prey; And these have smaller still to bite 'em; And so proceed _ad infinitum_.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest bartlett, Public domain source
“A college joke to cure the dumps.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest bartlett, Public domain source
“'T is an old maxim in the schools, That flattery 's the food of fools; Yet now and then your men of wit Will condescend to take a bit.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest bartlett, Public domain source
“Big-endians and small-endians.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest bartlett, Public domain source
“And he gave it for his opinion, that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest bartlett, Public domain source
“He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put in phials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest bartlett, Public domain source
“The two noblest things, which are sweetness and light.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest bartlett, Public domain source
“'T is as cheap sitting as standing.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest bartlett, Public domain source
“She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest bartlett, Public domain source
“He was a bold man that first eat an oyster.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest bartlett, Public domain source
“That is as well said as if I had said it myself.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest bartlett, Public domain source
“I always like to begin a journey on Sundays, because I shall have the prayers of the Church to preserve all that travel by land or by water.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest bartlett, Public domain source
“I shall be like that tree,--I shall die at the top.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest bartlett, Public domain source