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Jonathan Swift

136 quotes

“Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1704 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Battle of the Books, preface (1704)
“Instead of dirt and poison we have rather chosen to fill our hives with honey and wax; thus furnishing mankind with the two noblest of things, which are sweetness and light.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1704 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Battle of the Books, preface (1704)
“There are few, very few, that will own themselves in a mistake, though all the World sees them to be in downright nonsense.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1709 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Tatler No. 63 (September 1709)
“Raillery was to say something that at first appeared a reproach or reflection; but, by some turn of wit unexpected and surprising, ended always in a compliment, and to the advantage of the person it was addressed to. And surely one of the best rules in conversation is, never to say a thing which any of the company can reasonably wish we had rather left unsaid; nor can there anything be well more contrary to the ends for which people meet together, than to part unsatisfied with each other or themselves.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1709 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Hints Toward an Essay on Conversation (1709)
“'Tis very warm weather when one's in bed.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1710 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Journal to Stella (November 8, 1710)
“Falsehood flies, and truth comes limping after it, so that when men come to be undeceived, it is too late; the jest is over, and the tale hath had its effect: like a man, who hath thought of a good repartee when the discourse is changed, or the company parted; or like a physician, who hath found out an infallible medicine, after the patient is dead.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1710 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Examiner No. XIV (Thursday, November 9th, 1710)
“We are so fond of one another, because our ailments are the same.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1711 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Journal to Stella (February 1, 1711)
“I love good creditable acquaintance; I love to be the worst of the company.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1711 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Journal to Stella (May 17, 1711)
“…one enemy can do more hurt, than ten friends can do good.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1711 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Journal to Stella (30 June, 1711)
“But nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches, as to conceive how others can be in want.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1713 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: A Preface to the Bishop of Sarum's Introduction to the Third Volume of the History of the Reformation of the Church of England (8 December, 1713)
“'Tis an old maxim in the schools, That flattery's the food of fools; Yet now and then your men of wit Will condescend to take a bit.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1713 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Cadenus and Vanessa (1713)
“Proper words in proper places, make the true definition of a style.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1720 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Letter to a Young Clergyman (January 9, 1720)
“Reasoning will never make a man correct an ill opinion, which by reasoning he never acquired: for in the course of things, men always grow vicious before they become unbelievers; but if you would once convince the town or country profligate, by topics drawn from the view of their own quiet, reputation, health, and advantage, their infidelity would soon drop off: This I confess is no easy task, because it is almost in a literal sense, to fight with beasts.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1720 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Letter to a Young Clergyman (January 9, 1720), on proving Christianity to unbelievers
“If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scoundrel.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1720 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Letter to Miss Vanhomrigh (August 12, 1720)
“So weak thou art, that fools thy power despise; And yet so strong, thou triumph'st o'er the wise.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“For, in reason, all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery: but in fact, eleven men well armed will certainly subdue one single man in his shirt.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1724 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Drapier's Letters, letter iv (13 October, 1724)
“Libertas et natale solum: Fine words! I wonder where you stole 'em.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1724 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Verses Occasioned by Whitshed's Motto on his Coach (1724); the Latin indicates "liberty and my native land", and Whitshed was a chief justice enraged by The Drapier's Letters
“A set of phrases learnt by rote; A passion for a scarlet coat; When at a play to laugh, or cry, Yet cannot tell the reason why: Never to hold her tongue a minute; While all she prates has nothing in it.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1727 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Furniture of a Woman's Mind (1727)
“For conversation well endued; She calls it witty to be rude; And, placing raillery in railing, Will tell aloud your greatest failing.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1727 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Furniture of a Woman's Mind (1727)
“Those dreams that on the silent night intrude, And with false flitting shapes our minds delude … are mere productions of the brain. And fools consult interpreters in vain.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1727 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: On Dreams (1727)
“This evil fortune, which generally attends extraordinary men in the management of great affairs, has been imputed to divers causes, that need not be here set down, when so obvious a one occurs, if what a certain writer observes be true, that when a great genius appears in the world the dunces are all in confederacy against him.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1728 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Essay on the Fates of Clergymen (1728)
“Not die here in a rage, like a poisoned rat in a hole.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1729 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Letter to Bolingbroke (March 21, 1729); reported in Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. (1919)
“I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1729 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: A Modest Proposal (1729)
“A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1729 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: A Modest Proposal (1729)
“Yet malice never was his aim; He lashed the vice but spared the name. No individual could resent, Where thousands equally were meant. His satire points at no defect But what all mortals may correct; For he abhorred that senseless tribe Who call it humor when they gibe.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1731 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Verses on the Death of Dr. Swift (1731), l. 459
“Vision is the Art of seeing Things invisible.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1745 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Thoughts on various subjects (Further thoughts on various subjects) (1745)
“Then gave him some familiar Thumps, A College Joke to cure the Dumps.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) first seen 1734 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Cassinus and Peter: A Tragical Elegy (1734); reported in Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. (1919)
“Conversation is but carving! Give no more to every guest Than he's able to digest. Give him always of the prime, And but little at a time. Carve to all but just enough, Let them neither starve nor stuff, And that you may have your due, Let your neighbor carve for you.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Under an oak, in stormy weather, I joined this rogue and whore together; And none but he who rules the thunder Can put this rogue and whore asunder.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Marriage Certificate. From the Oxford Book of Literary Anecdotes, James Sutherland, ed. (1975), no. 77
“Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest persons uneasy is the best bred in the company.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: A Treatise on Good Manners and Good Breeding (1754, published posthumously)
“Pedantry is properly the over-rating of any kind of knowledge we pretend to.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Pride, ill nature, and want of sense, are the three great sources of ill manners.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I can discover no political evil in suffering bullies, sharpers, and rakes, to rid the world of each other by a method of their own; where the law hath not been able to find an expedient.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Nothing is so great an instance of ill manners as flattery. If you flatter all the company, you please none; if you flatter only one or two, you affront the rest.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“It is impossible that any thing so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have been designed by Providence as an evil to mankind.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Thoughts on Religion (1765), published posthumously
“Violent zeal for truth hath an hundred to one odds to be either petulancy, ambition, or pride.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I shall be like that tree; I shall die from the top.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Predicting that he would go senile, as quoted in The Highway of Letters and its Echos of Famous Footsteps (1893) by Thomas Archer, p. 380
“Reason is a very light rider and easily shook off.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As quoted in The World's Laconics : Or, The Best Thoughts Of The Best Authors (1827) by Johan TImbs, p. 25
“Hail fellow, well met.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: My Lady's Lamentation, The Poems of Jonathan Swift, D.D., Vol. II, edited by William Ernst Browning (1910); reported in Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. (1919)
“I 've often wish'd that I had clear, For life, six hundred pounds a year; A handsome house to lodge a friend; A river at my garden's end; A terrace walk, and half a rood Of land set out to plant a wood.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Imitation of Horace, book ii. Sat. 6.; reported in Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. (1919)
“How we apples swim!”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Brother Protestants; reported in Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. (1919)
“It is a maxim, that those to whom everybody allows the second place have an undoubted title to the first.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Seamen have a custom, when they meet a whale, to fling him out an empty tub by way of amusement, to divert him from laying violent hands upon the ship.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There are certain common privileges of a writer, the benefit whereof, I hope, there will be no reason to doubt; particularly, that where I am not understood, it shall be concluded, that something very useful and profound is couched underneath; and again, that whatever word or sentence is printed in a different character, shall be judged to contain something extraordinary either of wit or sublime.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Bread is the staff of life.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I have one word to say upon the subject of profound writers, who are grown very numerous of late; and I know very well the judicious world is resolved to list me in that number. I conceive therefore, as to the business of being profound, that it is with writers as with wells - a person with good eyes may see to the bottom of the deepest, provided any water be there: and often when there is nothing in the world at the bottom besides dryness and dirt, though it be but a yard and a-half under-ground, it shall pass, however, for wondrous deep upon no wiser reason than because it is wondrous dark”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Books, the children of the brain.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“As boys do sparrows, with flinging salt upon their tails.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“He made it a part of his religion never to say grace to his meat.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Laws are like Cobwebs which may catch small Flies, but let Wasps and Hornets break through. But in Oratory the greatest Art is to hide Art.”
Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) said by 1745 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source