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Jonah Goldberg
93 quotes
“Africa is a mess. It is a mess by any civilized measure of human progress. It is a mess by most uncivilized measures of human progress.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Great civilizations create great cathedrals, and the cathedrals of this generation should be in outer space. Cathedrals inspire rich and poor people alike to believe great things are possible. The Mars Polar Lander cost the average American the price of half a cheeseburger. A human lander would cost the average American more — perhaps even ten cheeseburgers! So be it. That is no great sacrifice.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“[[Conservatism|[C]onservatism]] is not supposed to be against change or progress... It is supposed to be skeptical of grandiose or reckless schemes which throw out the good in pursuit of the perfect.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Imagine if a friend, or even a son or brother, told you, "Hey, guess what I did last night? I stole a car and then I stole a cop car, I shot at some cops (presumably family men), and resisted arrest every step of the way." My response would be: A) "I hope they beat your ass"; B) "Gee, did they beat your ass?"; C) "How come they didn't beat your ass?"; or D) "Come with me right now so I can take you down to the station so they can beat your ass." There is no E) none of the above.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If you're too stupid to understand that a philosophy that favors a federally structured republic, with numerous restraints on the scope and power of government to interfere with individual rights or the free market, is a lot different from an ethnic-nationalist, atheistic, and socialist program of genocide and international aggression, you should use this rule of thumb: If someone isn't advocating the murder of millions of people in gas chambers and a global Reich for the White Man you shouldn't assume he's a Nazi and you should know it's pretty damn evil to call him one.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2001 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: (January 5, 2001)
“A rising economic tide is bad for people who live off of the poverty of others.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2001 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: (February 2001)
“One of the main reasons American liberals adore Europe is that Europe still worships its intellectuals. In America, intellectuals are mostly for entertainment. But across the pond, these folks get to do real damage. Why, just this spring a small Italian village had its barbershop cited by the local magistrate because its shaving brushes did not conform to the standard set by the European Union. I am not making this up.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2001 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: (June 13, 2001)
“Dissent is morally neutral. You can correctly call yourself a dissident because you like to kick puppies, but at the end of the day, you're just a jerk who likes to kick puppies.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“An idiot is no smarter if a billion people agree with him and a genius is no dumber if a billion people don't.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I think Rummy should walk up to the table, take the oath, offer his prepared apologies and explanations and then, at the end of his remarks, he should take out a long Japanese knife. He should then cut off his pinky. If this Yakuza style contrition doesn't work he should look to the ranking Democrat on the committee and continue removing fingers until he gets a Shogun-like nod that his offering is acceptable. He should then wrap-up up his hand, curtly bow, and then say 'I am now pleased to take your questions.'”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2004 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: (May 2004)
“My first piece of advice — and I mean this from the bottom of my heart — is that we should not get so carried away that we adopt a Logan's Run policy in which conservatives beyond a certain age are twirled around the ceiling of a big stadium and then blown-up to the cheers of younger conservatives.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2004 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: (July 19, 2004)
“I bet you anything I could destroy Milton Friedman in a debate about economics — so long as the audience was comprised of five year olds. He may have a Nobel Prize, but I can make offensive sounds with my armpit. Advantage: Goldberg!”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2004 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: (July 19, 2004)
“I suppose in John Kerry's world good diplomacy lets the boys in the bar finish raping the girl for fear of causing a fuss. Okay, that was unfair.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2004 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: October 8, 2004)
“Across the media universe the questions pour out: Why is Dan Rather doing this to himself? Why does he drag this out? Why won't he just come clean? Why would he let this happen in the first place? Why is CBS standing by him? Why . . . why . . . why? There is only one plausible answer: Ours is a just and decent God.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2004 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: (October 11, 2004)
“In John Kerry's world, it's a defense to say your oldest friends aren't dishonest, they're merely whores.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2004 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: October 2004)
“Disenfranchisement is something the government does to you. It's not something you do to yourself. If you can't figure out how to fill in the ovals or punch the chads—and some minority of voters will always botch it—that doesn't mean your right to vote was rescinded. It means that you didn't take your right to vote seriously enough to pay attention to the instructions.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2004 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: (October 22, 2004)
“Take the two leading liberal columnists at the New York Times, Maureen Dowd and Paul Krugman. As we all know, one's a whining self-parody of a hysterical liberal who lets feminine emotion and fear defeat reason and fact in almost every column. The other used to date Michael Douglas.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2004 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: (November 8, 2004)
“Why is it fair game to question conservatives' love or loyalty to children or to their fellow man, but beyond the pale to question liberals' love of country?”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I do think my judgment is superior to (Juan Cole's) when it comes to the big picture. So, I have an idea: Since he doesn't want to debate anything except his own brilliance, let's make a bet. I predict that Iraq won't have a civil war, that it will have a viable constitution, and that a majority of Iraqis and Americans will, in two years time, agree that the war was worth it. I'll bet $1,000 (which I can hardly spare right now).”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2005 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: (February 8, 2005)
“I'd love to have a complete, easy to access collection of quotes-by-me somewhere out there. Why? I dunno. Because it'd be even cooler?”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2005 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: (June 16, 2005)
“I wish to hearby announce that Wikipedia represents the highest, greatest, achievements of human life to date. I shall henceforth replace the phrase "the greatest thing since sliced bread" with the phrase "the greatest thing since Wikipedia." That is so long as what it posts about me is accurate or at least inaccurately extremely flattering.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2005 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: (June 16, 2005)
“Everywhere, unthinking mobs of "independent thinkers" wield tired clichés like cudgels, pummeling those who dare question “enlightened” dogma. If “violence never solved anything,” cops wouldn’t have guns and slaves may never have been freed. If it’s better that 10 guilty men go free to spare one innocent, why not free 100 or 1,000,000? Clichés begin arguments, they don’t settle them.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The porkbusters fight is fun now, but not since early cave men tried to train grizzly bears to give them tongue-baths has a project seemed more obviously doomed to end in disappointment. Expecting Congress — of either party — to give back pork which has already been approved and passed into law is like expecting crack whores to give refunds days after services have been rendered.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Making meaningful distinctions is not hypocrisy, it's called "thinking.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“But, the people who criticized these people were … what? I am so disgusted with people who think free speech is defined as being able to say what you think without being criticized.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“[I]n many respects fascism not only is here but has been here for nearly a century. For what we call liberalism--the refurbished edifice of American Progressivism--is in fact a descendant and manifestation of fascism... Progressivism was a sister movement of fascism, and today's liberalism is the daughter of Progressivism.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“In short, “social justice” is code for good things no one needs to argue for -- and no one dare be against.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I'll never tire of the people so vexed by me they have to insist I am irrelevant. I may be irrelevant, but I clearly matter to you.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2018 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Twitter post (7 September 2018)
“The world's oldest globalist institution? Catholic church.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2018 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Remnant Tapes" (13 September 2018), National Review
“States have a habit of forming when the rules say “line starts here for free stuff.” Whoever manages the line becomes the “state” after a while.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2018 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Twitter post (9 October 2018)
“We often dismiss controversies or concerns by waving our hands and saying something like, “Oh, that’s merely symbolic,” as if the meaning we give to symbols is somehow irrelevant compared with more tangible things. But symbolism — the way we reduce broad concerns, agendas, and visions to images or rituals — has played a defining role in human life since there have been humans. Try burning a flag or a cross in front of the wrong audience and then tell me symbolism is nothing.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2018 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Border Wall Is a Symbol of Our Symbolic Politics" (28 December 2018), National Review
“Both flag burners and flag wavers can agree on one thing: The flag has meaning beyond the merely instrumental necessity of having a piece of cloth that identifies a legal jurisdiction.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2018 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Power of Symbols in Our Politics of Digust" (28 December 2018), National Review
“The rifts between Shia and Sunni, Eastern Orthodox and Catholic, Israelis and Palestinians, Tibetans and Chinese, obviously have real political, theological, or economic substance behind them, but they are often reduced to symbolism. If you study the history of nationalism, it is often a story of symbols. What flag shall we fly? What icon shall we mount? What books will we revere — or burn?”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) first seen 2018 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Border Wall Is a Symbol of Our Symbolic Politics" (28 December 2018), National Review
“One of the things that motivated my old friend Andrew Breitbart was his righteous indignation at being called a racist. That's a running theme in his book, "Righteous Indignation".”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“He would also advise conservatives not to be deterred if their opponents on the left unfairly called them racists — something he rightly believed happened all the time. Indeed, one of the things that got him out of bed in the morning was fighting the media-Democratic narrative that conservatives are all a bunch of racists.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“In one famous episode, members of the Congressional Black Caucus walked through a crowd of tea party protesters seeking a provocation. Subsequently they claimed the attendants screamed the N-word and other epithets at them. The press reported it all as fact. Andrew, noting the sea of cameras and iPhones at the event, offered a $10,000 reward to anyone who could provide proof of the CBC's claims. No one came forward. That was the Andrew Breitbart I was proud to call my friend.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If Andrew were still around, I bet he'd tell Bannon to stay in Europe — and not just because his tendency to wear several shirts seems more consistent with European fashion. Bannon's understanding of conservatism is entirely European.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Life isn't binary — and neither is politics. If you are adrift in the ocean, your enemy isn’t just sharks; it’s thirst, hunger, drowning, and despair itself. If you face your predicament assuming the only thing you have to worry about is being eaten by a shark, you might fend off the sharks, but you will also probably die. Indeed, by ignoring other threats, you’d probably make yourself more vulnerable to a shark attack.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“[W]e live in a popular-front moment, where no one on “our side” is worth criticizing too much, if at all, and everyone on “their side” is evil. This has as much to do with ratings and page views as it does with ideology. Moths chase light, but the incentive for politicians, producers, and pundits is to follow the heat. I’m still torn over how people such as Mark Zuckerberg should deal with slanderous carnival barkers like Alex Jones. But I’m convinced a lot of people are to blame for the problem reaching Zuckerberg’s desk in the first place.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The coalition instinct is the programming that helped us form strategic groups that advance our self-interest. We are a social species and cooperation is what helped us skyrocket to the top of the food chain.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“[L]iberals are going to have to make peace with the possibility that their political enemies aren’t always the cartoon villains they so desperately want them to be.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Obama violated not just democratic norms but also his constitutional oath by effectively granting amnesty to millions of immigrants in the country illegally despite having insisted that he did not have the power to do so.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Pence has a point. But he has little standing to make it.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Falsely accusing critics of “treason,” castigating law-enforcement agencies for prosecuting allies, and telling police they should rough up suspects is inconsistent with Trump’s oath — and Pence’s. But these days, oaths, like norms, are for everybody else.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“One common tactic [socialists like to use] is to point to countries that liberals like and dub them real-world models of socialism. Thus Scandinavian countries with generous social safety nets become the real-world proof that socialism works. Others will just point to government-run programs or institutions—national parks, the VA, whatever—and say “socialism!” (What about Venezuela? “Shut up,” they explain.)”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“[S]ocialism has never been a particularly stable or coherent program, a point I made in these pages in 2010. It has always been best defined as whatever socialists want it to be at any given moment. That is because its chief utility is as a romantic indictment of the capitalist status quo. As many of the defenders of the new socialist craze admit, socialism is the off-the-shelf alternative to capitalism, which has been in bad odor since at least the financial crisis of 2008.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“[S]ocialism’s durability as a concept owes almost nothing to economics and almost everything to the desire for power...”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Socialism as a thoroughgoing system had failed. But the central emotion behind it had not. And that emotion has only deepened...”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Millennials who supported Bernie Sanders almost certainly don’t care about the weedy specifics of his health-care plans. They do not want to live in a country with an economic system that could never have produced the iPhone or the Internet. What they want is a greater sense of social solidarity.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The problem is that the central government in a sprawling country of over 325 million can’t provide solidarity (without resorting to anti-democratic means)—only the institutions of civil society (faith, family, etc.) can fill the holes in our souls.”
Jonah Goldberg (born 1969) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source