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Jeffrey Ford
39 quotes
“What good is the illusion of fiction if it cannot show us a way to become the people we need to be?”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“In their exquisite self-centeredness our ancestors believed that they were alone in the universe. At the same time, they had convinced themselves that Earth was the blue apple of God’s eye and the sole reason for all of creation. This two-headed fallacy caused humanity both delusions of grandeur and a paranoiac sense of loneliness.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A slight grin that has nothing to do with merriment is the sure sign that she is about to set things straight. Her overall air is one of constant suspicion, and ever readiness to take offense.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“He’s no physician, he’s Grandfather Mess. He couldn’t cure a pain in the ass unless he left the room.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“My dear Philosopher,” said the countess. “You give sanity a bad name.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Real memories intrude now and then as do self-admonitions for a wasted life, but the smoke’s other feature is that it lets you not give a shit about anything but taking in more smoke.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Life was never so clear-cut as to offer anything as certain as a war between Heaven and Hell. That was for stories.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“He kneels and prays to heaven but nothing happens.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If he’s not crazy, he’s probably playing with your mind. He seems to have a healthy measure of mischief about him. That string tie is a good indicator.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You gotta watch that anger. The customer’s always right,” said Merk. “The customer’s hardly ever right,” said Slackwell.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Between Heaven and Hell there is this place called reality. Reality might as well be Hell if you don’t have cash.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I understand the human brain. It’s a double-edged sword. An evolutionarily development that gives you the wherewithal to know that life is basically a shit pastry one is obliged to eat slowly, and the ability to disguise that fact with beautiful delusions.” “Where do God and the cash come in?” asked Slackwell. “The cash is the pastry part. God, he just likes to watch us eat. The more we eat the more he loves us. You can’t live without love.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Parents—so essential yet sometimes like something you have stepped in and cannot get off your shoe. What else is there but to love them?”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“My hero was J. S. Bach. It was from his works that I came to understand mathematics and, through a greater understanding of math, came to a greater understanding of Bach—the golden ratio, the rise of complexity through the reiteration of simple elements, the presence of the cosmic in the common.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Halloween was close, our favorite holiday because it carried none of the pain-in-the-ass holiness of Christmas and still there was free candy.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Nothing is more comforting to people than to have their certainties trumpeted back to them in bold, clear typeface.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Now I was stuck and could feel the tide of years suddenly beginning to rise around me.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The wind and sun, the salt water, the hard work aged a body rapidly, and when I would look at the old man who clammed, I was too young to sense the wisdom their years on the water had bestowed upon them and saw only what I did not want to become.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There is only one term for this war,” said the old man with the sunglasses. “‘Clusterfuck.’ Cluster as in ‘cluster’ and fuck as in ‘fuck.’ No more need be said.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“An honor it was, too, as he told me, “You know that because you don’t get paid anything for it.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“After my mother finally quit drinking, she entered a brief epoch of peace in her life. Gone were the paranoia, the accusations, the belittlements, the bitter rage of judgment, the look of fear. For years, nearly every day a lost weekend, she had been possessed by the dark amber ghast of gag-sweet Taylor Cream Sherry. Living with her back then had been like living with a vampire whose bite drained but never conferred immortality.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The lion is fur, muscle, tendon, claw, and speed, five important ingredients of the unfathomable.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“My choice of dog was the quarter pounder. That’s right, the Hindenburg of Wawa processed meat products. Two of those and you were doing a half pound of sodium nitrates (is that the stuff they use for explosives?) and animal by-products with a little food coloring added. This stuff can’t be good for you. Even while I was biting into these things, I was picturing a third eye growing in my asshole. It was Russian roulette and I was putting the barrel to my head at least twice a day. I’d become addicted to hot dogs while on the rebound from cigarettes.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I had, at the time, an irrational, Luddite inclination that there was something morally bankrupt about making art with a computer.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The semester began, and I soon discovered that abstract painting was still the order of the day at the university. Most of the professors had come of age in their own work during the late fifties and sixties and were still channeling the depleted spirit of Jackson Pollock; second- and third-rate abstract expressionists tutoring young painters in the importance of ignoring the figure. The canvases were vast, the paint apply liberally, and the bigger the mess the more praise the piece garnered.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There is no certainty but that there is no certainty.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The seventh expression was a blend of the look of a hungry child, the gaze of an angry ball, and the stern countenance of God. The report records that the creators were questioned as to how they came up with the countenance of God, and their famous response was, “We used a mirror.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I knew we were going somewhere I didn’t have any interest in going, because I was wearing a tie and jacket.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“They’ve told so many lies in their lives that they’ve run out and can now tell only the truth.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“My specialty is napping.” “A noble pursuit,” he said.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Time became a sermon, preaching itself.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Do you remember what you wished for?” asked Stan. “Only the one of them. I must have been ten or eleven.” “Did it come true?” asked Groot. “Hell no, I wished I’d never get old,” said Venner.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You two don’t know yet,” he said. “When you get old, you think more about the past than about what you did five minutes ago. Time changes.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You are no more nor less than any man—a hungry heart and a wavering will.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Dreams are dreams and the future is like a hall of mirrors reflecting the past and offering up wavering illusions until everything shatters and you were cut to ribbons by shards of reality.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“She had her sights set on being an English major. Owen admired the quixotic nature of her plan, its blatant impracticality, its vow of poverty.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“People did sometimes leave town, though. Because no one knew where they went didn’t necessarily mean they’d been abducted, killed, and drained by a vampire.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Can you think of anything, my dear Mr. Fell, more intricately complex, more perfectly compact and thoroughly functional than the human eye?” “No, sir,” said August. “I thought not,” said Larchcroft. “Consider this, though. Our eyes were created by light. Without the existence of light, we would not have eyes. Over the long course of man’s evolutionarily maturation to his modern condition, light sculpted these magical orbs, making subtle adjustments through the centuries, until now they are capable of the incredible process of sight. This most vital sense, not only a means of self-preservation but the single most important catalyst for culture, is a product of the inherent genius of light.”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“But I was immediately brought to attention again when Sister said, “Dead pets and dead babies who haven’t been baptized, that’s who goes to Limbo.” I wondered if dead babies had no souls. And then my imagination kicked in and I envisioned Limbo—a quiet, idyllic place populated by nothing but pets and babies. It seemed like a good place to go. Obviously much better than Hell, what with its eternal fires, serpents, and bat-winged, pitch-fork-wielding demons. Eternal suffering—sort of like church, but only longer and a lot hotter. Actually, Limbo even seemed better than Heaven, the rewards of which—clouds, harp music, and angels—after a long life of always doing the right thing seemed pretty underwhelming. What would you do for the rest of eternity after you learned to play the harp real good?”
Jeffrey Ford (born 1955) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source