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James Thurber

67 quotes

“All right, have it your way — you heard a seal bark!”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1932 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Cartoon caption, The New Yorker (30 January 1932); "Women and Men", The Seal in the Bedroom and Other Predicaments (1932); also used in "The Lady on the Bookcase", Alarms and Diversions (1957).
“Le coeur a ses raisons, Mrs. Bence, que la raison ne connait pas.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1935 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Cartoon caption, The New Yorker (27 July 1935)
“Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1937 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Cartoon caption, The New Yorker (5 June 1937); "Word Dance--Part One", A Thurber Carnival (1960)
“I love the idea of there being two sexes, don't you?”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Cartoon caption, The New Yorker (22 April 1939); "A Miscellany", Alarms and Diversions (1957)
“He knows all about art, but he doesn't know what he likes.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Cartoon caption, The New Yorker (4 November 1939). Parody of "I don't know much about art, but I know what I like.
“It's a naïve domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1944 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Cartoon caption (1944), in which a dinner host is speaking to his guests about the wine, reproduced in The Thurber Carnival (1945).
“There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Fairly Intelligent Fly", The New Yorker (4 February 1939), a tale of a fly who avoided getting caught in an empty spider web, but then disregarding a warning by a bee, settled down among other flies he believed to b…
“A burden in the bush is worth two on your hands.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Hunter and the Elephant", The New Yorker (18 February 1939)
“It is better to ask some of the questions than to know all the answers.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Scotty Who Knew Too Much", The New Yorker (18 February 1939)
“Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Shrike and the Chipmunks", The New Yorker (18 February 1939); Fables for Our Time & Famous Poems Illustrated (1940). Because it is derived from Benjamin Franklin's famous saying this is often misquoted as: Early to …
“You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Bear Who Let It Alone", The New Yorker (29 April 1939); Fables for Our Time & Famous Poems Illustrated (1940)
“You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Owl who was God", The New Yorker (29 April 1939); Fables for Our Time & Famous Poems Illustrated (1940). Parody of "You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time, but you cannot…
“Once upon a sunny morning a man who sat in a breakfast nook looked up from his scrambled eggs to see a white unicorn with a golden horn quietly cropping the roses in the garden. The man went up to the bedroom where his wife was still asleep and woke her. "There's a unicorn in the garden," he said. "Eating roses." She opened one unfriendly eye and looked at him. "The unicorn is a mythical beast," she said, and turned her back on him. The man walked slowly downstairs and out into the garden. The unicorn was still there; he was now browsing among the tulips.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Unicorn in the Garden", The New Yorker (31 October 1939); Fables for Our Time & Famous Poems Illustrated (1940). This is a fable where a man sees a Unicorn in his garden, and his wife reports the matter to have him …
“Don't count your boobies until they are hatched.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Unicorn in the Garden", The New Yorker (31 October 1939); Fables for Our Time & Famous Poems Illustrated (1940)
“He who hesitates is sometimes saved.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Glass in the Field", The New Yorker (31 October 1939); Fables for Our Time & Famous Poems Illustrated (1940). This is the moral of a fable in which several birds reject a Goldfinch's report that he ran into "crystal…
“Don't get it right, just get it written.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Sheep in Wolf's Clothing", The New Yorker (29 April 1939); Fables for Our Time & Famous Poems Illustrated (1940). The moral is ironic with respect to the fable, in which sheep do insufficient research before writing…
“It is better to have loafed and lost, than never to have loafed at all.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Courtship of Arthur and Al", The New Yorker (26 August 1939); Fables for Our Time & Famous Poems Illustrated (1940). Parody of Alfred Lord Tennyson's "Better to have loved and lost/than never to have loved at all.
“Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy desperation.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1956 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Grizzly and the Gadgets", The New Yorker (date unknown); Further Fables for Our Time (1956); This statement is derived from one of Henry David Thoreau: "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
“Love is blind, but desire just doesn't give a good goddam. [sic]”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1956 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Clothes Moth and the Luna Moth", The New Yorker (date unknown); Further Fables for Our Time (1956)
“A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make any sense.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1956 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Weaver and the Worm", The New Yorker (11 August 1956); Further Fables for Our Time (1956)
“All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1956 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Crow and the Scarecrow", The New Yorker (date unknown); Further Fables for Our Time (1956). This is derived from Oscar Wilde's statement "All men kill the thing they love...
“All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1956 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Shore and the Sea", Further Fables for Our Time (first publication, 1956)
“Moral: Where most of us end up there is no knowing, but the hellbent get where they are going.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1956 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Wolf Who Went Places", The New Yorker, Page 28 (19 May 1956); Further Fables for Our Time (1956)
“The pounding of the cylinders increased: ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1942 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (1942)
“To hell with the handkerchief," said Walter Mitty scornfully. He took one last drag on his cigarette and snapped it away. Then, with that faint, fleeting smile playing about his lips, he faced the firing squad; erect and motionless, proud and disdainful, Walter Mitty the Undefeated, inscrutable to the last.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1942 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (1942)
“Who are you?" the minstrel asked. "I am the Golux," said the Golux, proudly, "the only Golux in the world, and not a mere Device.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1951 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Thirteen Clocks (1951) page 32
“Every time is a time for comedy in a world of tension that would languish without it. But I cannot confine myself to lightness in a period of human life that demands light ... We all know that, as the old adage has it, "It is later than you think." ..., but I also say occasionally: "It is lighter than you think." In this light let's not look back in anger, or forward in fear, but around in awareness.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1961 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Foreword", Lanterns & Lances (1961)
“Precision of communication is important, more important than ever, in our era of hair trigger balances, when a false or misunderstood word may create as much disaster as a sudden thoughtless act.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1961 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Lanterns and Lances‎ (1961), p. 44
“There are two kinds of light — the glow that illumines, and the glare that obscures.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1961 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Lanterns and Lances‎ (1961), p. 146; also misquoted as "There are two kinds of light — the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures.
“Boys are perhaps beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of eighteen months and ninety years.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1961 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Darlings at the Top of the Stairs", Lanterns & Lances (1961); previously appeared in The Queen and in Harper's Magazine.
“A pinch of probability is worth a pound of perhaps.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1961 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: note for "a future fable", "Such a Phrase as Drifts Through Dreams", Holiday Magazine; reprinted in Lanterns & Lances (1961).
“Now I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance — a sharp, vindictive glance.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1961 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: My Senegalese Birds and Siamese Cats", Holiday Magazine; reprinted in Lanterns & Lances (1961).
“Man has gone long enough, or even too long, without being man enough to face the simple truth that the trouble with Man is Man.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1961 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Trouble with Man is Man", The New Yorker; reprinted in Lanterns & Lances (1961).
“The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1953 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Duchess and the Bugs", Lanterns & Lances (1961). The piece was "a response" to an award Thurber received from the Ohioana Library Association in 1953.
“Discussion in America means dissent.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1961 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Duchess and the Bugs", Lanterns & Lances (1961).
“Somebody has said that woman's place is in the wrong. That's fine. What the wrong needs is a woman's presence and a woman's touch. She is far better equipped than men to set it right.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1961 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Duchess and the Bugs", Lanterns & Lances (1961).
“If I have sometimes seemed to make fun of Woman, I assure you it has only been for the purpose of egging her on.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1961 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Duchess and the Bugs", Lanterns & Lances (1961).
“Humor and pathos, tears and laughter are, in the highest expression of human character and achievement, inseparable.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1960 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Case for Comedy", Lanterns & Lances (1961); previously appeared in The Atlantic Monthly November 1960
“It is true, I confess, that if a male character of my invention started across the stage to disrobe a virgin criminally (ah, euphemism to end euphemisms!), he would probably catch his foot in the piano stool and end up playing "Button Up Your Overcoat" on the black keys.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1961 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Case for Comedy", Lanterns & Lances (1961).
“She came naturally by her confused and groundless fears, for her own mother lived the latter years of her life in the horrible suspicion that electricity was dripping invisibly all over the house.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1933 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: My Life and Hard Times (1933) page 33, Harper & Row, New York.
“In order to be eligible to play it was necessary for him to keep up in his studies, a very difficult matter, for while he was not dumber than an ox he was not any smarter.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) said by 1961 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) said by 1961 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Carpe Noctem, If You Can", Credos and Curios (1962)
“The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1943 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: An Introduction", The Fireside Book of Dog Stories (Simon and Schuster, 1943); reprinted in Thurber's Dogs (1955)
“The dog has seldom been successful in pulling Man up to its level of sagacity, but Man has frequently dragged the dog down to his.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1943 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: An Introduction", The Fireside Book of Dog Stories (Simon and Schuster, 1943); reprinted in Thurber's Dogs (1955)
“I am not a dog lover. A dog lover to me means a dog that is in love with another dog.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: I Like Dogs", For Men (April 1939); reprinted in People Have More Fun Than Anybody (1994); slightly paraphrased in "And So to Medve", Thurber's Dogs (1955)
“He picked out this sentence in a New Yorker casual of mine: "After dinner, the men moved into the living room," and he wanted to know why I, or the editors, had put in the comma. I could explain that one all right. I wrote back that this particular comma was Ross's way of giving the men time to push back their chairs and stand up.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1957 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Years with Ross (Little Brown & Co, 1957, pg.267)
“From now on, I think it is safe to predict, neither the Democratic nor the Republican Party will ever nominate for President a candidate without good looks, stage presence, theatrical delivery, and a sense of timing.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1961 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: said of the Kennedy-Nixon TV debates in an unpublished manuscript, (dated 20 March 1961); Collecting Himself (1989).
“A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1930 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The New Yorker (2 August 1930)
“But those rare souls whose spirit gets magically into the hearts of men, leave behind them something more real and warmly personal than bodily presence, an ineffable and eternal thing. It is everlasting life touching us as something more than a vague, recondite concept. The sound of a great name dies like an echo; the splendor of fame fades into nothing; but the grace of a fine spirit pervades the places through which it has passed, like the haunting loveliness of mignonette.”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1923 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Book-End,” Columbus Dispatch (1923) Collecting Himself (1989).
“Sophistication might be described as the ability to cope gracefully with a situation involving the presence of a formidable menace to one's poise and prestige (such as the butler, or the man under the bed — but never the husband).”
James Thurber (1894–1961) first seen 1930 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The New Yorker (2 August 1930), discussing cartooning