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Frank Zappa

101 quotes

“I can’t talk to you about music because you don’t know anything about music. I can talk to you about politics or sociology and all that peripheral stuff, but I can’t talk to you about music. There’s not enough information in common that I could say to you so you’d be able to understand. Besides, the people who read OUI don’t give a fuck about music anyway.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The U.S. is a mere pup tent of a civilization. We’ve got two hundred years of stupidity behind us and we think we’re right up there with everyone else who’s been doing it for thousands of years.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The richest people in the world aren’t particularly smart or happy. And the happiest people in the world aren’t particularly smart or rich.… That leaves me making music. But we can’t talk about that.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Everything on this planet has something to do with music. Music functions in the realm of sculptured air. Polluted as our atmosphere might be, air is the thing that makes music work. Since all other things that occur in the sound domain are transmitted to the ear through that swirling mass, depending on how wide you want to make your definition, you could perceive quite a bit of human experience in terms of music.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I think the music of the Fifties is really good. I suspect it’s much better musically than much of what’s available now. Not in terms of production, but in terms of content. One good believable song about some guy’s girlfriend and how they broke up — a sincere one — is better than twenty albums of English rock that’s ever been produced.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Most people don’t think I’m rational. They’re too busy featuring their hurt. They find it irrational not to feature your hurt. That’s how fucked up they are.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Music is the only religion that delivers the goods. All music is good. It fulfills a social function. It's like wallpaper to your lifestyle. It defines what you are.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I love the guitar, always have. I can relate to it a lot better than a saxophone.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I don't do drugs, nor have I ever believed in them. Am I a creative person? Then why do people think in order to be creative one must do drugs? Actually, I think people take them as an excuse to screw up in public, y'know, spill things or get silly. Drugs have slowed down civilization because we have to wait for people to get off their high before we can resume. They are the millstone around society's neck.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin' — there's more of us UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS than you are, hey-y, so watch out.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Whoever we are, wherever we're from We shoulda noticed by now, our behavior is dumb.And if our chances expect to improve. It's gonna take a lot more, than trying to remove the other race.Or the other whatever, from the face of the planet altogether.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You can't run a country by a book of religion. Not by a heap or a lump or a smidgen. Of foolish rules of ancient date. Designed to make you all feel great. While you fold, spindle and mutilate.Those unbelievers from a neighboring state.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“TO ARMS! TO ARMS! Hooray! That's great! Two legs ain't bad unless there's a crate. They ship the parts to mama for souvenirs: two ears -- Get Down!”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The Good Book says: "It's gotta be that way!" But their book says: "REVENGE THE CRUSADES!!!!... After all, he wrote this book here, and in the book it says he made us all to be just like him! So if we're dumb, then God is dumb — and maybe even a little ugly on the side.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Remember there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There are three things that smell of fish. One of them is fish. The other two are growing on you!”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You say your life's a bum deal 'n yer up against the wall. Well, people, you ain't even got no deal at all. 'Cause what they do in Washington. They just takes care of Number One. An' Number One ain't you. You ain't even Number Two!”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Shes a valley girl In a clothing store Okay, fine... Fer sure, fer sure.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“On Ventura, there she goes She just bought some bitch'n clothes Tosses her head n flips her hair She got a whole bunch of nothin in there”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I think that if you use the so-called "strong words" you'll get your point across faster and you can save a lot of beating around the bush. Why are people afraid of words? Sometimes the dumbest thing that gets said makes the point for you.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I'm a conservative, and you might not like that, but I am, and the fact of the matter is, this bill that they're talking about in Maryland is stupid.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Do you think you are protecting somebody by taking away seven words?”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Tell you what — Kiss my ass! How do you like that…?”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Why should I smile when I'm sitting here with you?”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The biggest threat to America today is not communism. It's moving America toward a fascist theocracy, and everything that's happened during the Reagan administration is steering us right down that pipe … I really think that. … When you have a government that prefers a certain moral code derived from a certain religion and that moral code turns into legislation to suit one certain religious point of view, and if that code happens to be very, very right wing, almost toward Attila the Hun...”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I've smoked ten marijuana cigarettes in my life, and probably the last time I had one near my face was twelve, fifteen years ago. And the reason I did was because, since I do smoke, people would say, "Here, smoke this, you'll get high." So I smoked it, and it gave me a sore throat and made me sleepy. And I must either presume that that's what high means, or something was wrong. But I've never had a positive result from smoking marijuana. It just wasn't my cup of tea. And I never used LSD, never used cocaine, never used heroin or any of that other stuff.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“For the record, folks; I never took a shit on stage and the closest I ever came to eating shit anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina, in 1973.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has the medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball...I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing the bassoon.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice — there are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on TV telling you how to do your shit, then YOU DESERVE IT.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We're not talking light-hearted foolishness here — when we go for stupid we go for BIG STUPID — like people who shoot at you on the freeway, or the Rambos and Rambo-ettes who blow people away in shopping malls and fast-food restaurants with automatic weapons.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can. Children are naive — they trust everyone. School is bad enough, but, if you put a child anywhere in the vicinity of a church, you're asking for trouble.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Gail has said in interviews that one of the things that makes our relationship work is the fact that we hardly ever get to talk to each other.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The creation and destruction of harmonic and 'statistical' tensions is essential to the maintenance of compositional drama. Any composition (or improvisation) which remains consistent and 'regular' throughout is, for me, equivalent to watching a movie with only "good guys" in it, or eating cottage cheese.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The Ultimate Rule ought to be: 'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchin'; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty. The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself what you like and what you don't like. American radio listeners, raised on a diet of _____ (fill in the blank), have experienced a musical universe so small they cannot begin to know what they like.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There is no hell. There is only France.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something, we'd all love one another.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Fact of the matter is, there is no hip world, there is no straight world. There's a world, you see which has people in it who believe a variety of different things. Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, use that something to support their own existence.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“It's time for a revolution, but probably not in the terms that people imagine it. The word seems to conjure up images of— sort of a modern day version of peasants going into the street with their pitch forks to go after the bad guy who lives in a big house someplace on a hill and we're gonna get that son-of-a-bitch and we'll take all the stuff away from him and we'll give it to the workers, you know. And that's not the kind of revolution I had in mind. ... Well, I thought that it might be nice if it was handled a little bit more modern and efficient way, without people getting slaughtered in the street. It's a matter of infiltration.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) first seen 1971 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As quoted in Frank Zappa, a VPRO documentary, directed by Roelof Kiers, Aired February 11, 1971; transcript, video
“Organized religions by their very natures are misleading. The bottom line is always money. What that’s got to do with your spiritual well-being still eludes me. It’s always the bucks, no matter how they disguise it. If you need that sort of assistance to keep yourself together, you may be paying a higher rate to a fake religion than you would to a psychotherapist. Which is not to say that a psychotherapist is going to give you any better value per dollar either. lf you’re going to deal with reality, you’re going to have to make one big discovery: Reality is something that belongs to you as an individual. If you wanna grow up, which most people don’t, the thing to do is take responsibility for your own reality and deal with it on your own terms. Don’t expect that because you pay some money to somebody else or take a pledge or join a club or run down the street or wear a special bunch of clothes or play a certain sport or even drink Perrier water, it’s going to take care of everything for you. Because it all comes from inside. As a matter of fact, that’s where it stays.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The lifestyle that I have is probably neither desirable nor useful to most people. Most people are probably better off getting the certification they desire and spindling their lives away the way they’re doing. I don’t think they’d enjoy living any other way. There are millions of people who acquire all sorts of wonderful feelings from watching a football game and drinking a bottle of beer. It makes them really happy. Doesn’t do shit for me. But for them it’s life itself. As long as they can believe in the beer and the football, then they’ve really got something. And it’s probably more useful to them than religion. So why take it away? Why tell them what’s really going on? Let ’em be happy.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The cool-person syndrome is peculiarly American. Part of that has to do with the way the educational business is run in the U.S. It’s not based on how much you can teach your child: it’s based on how much money the suppliers of basic materials can make off your child. Somewhere along the line most people pick up the desire to be a cool person, which is just another way to make them buy things. Once you’ve decided that you need to be a cool person, it makes you a possible victim of anyone whose products are the equivalent of bottled smoke. Somebody tells you to buy this particularly useless item and you’ll be a cool person. No matter how stupid it seems, you have to buy it. Pet Rocks. Pringle’s potato chips. whatever it is — the newest, the latest. Since the cool-person thing is something you learn in school, and since the school business is pretty suspicious and definitely tied up with the government, it makes you wonder whether or not the desire to be cool is part of a government plot to make you buy stupid things.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There isn’t anything weird about my music. Weird is a skeleton in the closet, wearing a rubber mask with warts all over its nose, and all that kind of shit. That’s not what I do. The thing that makes my music unusual is that people only hear one kind of music all the time over the radio. It’s wallpaper to their lives. Audile wallpaper. There’s one acceptable beat and there are three acceptable chord progressions. There are five acceptable words: baby, love, tears, yat yat. Just because I don’t deal in those terms doesn’t mean I’m weird. So tell these people: I ain’t weird; I’m rational. I’m a person who can choose to write stuff like that, or choose to write stuff that includes all the notes on the piano played at once, followed by a cement truck driving over the piano, followed by a small atomic explosion. Nothing weird about that as long as you do it in a meaningful way.”
Frank Zappa (1940–1993) said by 1993 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source