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Dorothy Parker
58 quotes
“Excuse my dust.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1925 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Her proposed epitaph for herself, quoted in Vanity Fair (June 1925)
“And she had It. It, hell; she had Those.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1927 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Regarding a character in Elinor Glyn's novel It; in her review, "Madame Glyn Lectures on 'It,' with Illustrations" in The New Yorker (November 26, 1927)
“Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1928 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The New Yorker (February 4, 1928)
“Well, Aimee Semple McPherson has written a book. And were you to call it a little peach, you would not be so much as scratching its surface. It is the story of her life, and it is called In the Service of the King, which title is perhaps a bit dangerously suggestive of a romantic novel. It may be that this autobiography is set down in sincerity, frankness and simple effort. It may be, too, that the Statue of Liberty is situated in Lake Ontario.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1928 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Our Lady of the Loudspeaker" in The New Yorker (February 25, 1928)
“And it is that word 'hummy,' my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1928 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Her "Constant Reader" book review of The House at Pooh Corner by A. A. Milne, in The New Yorker (October 20, 1928)
“That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1929 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: But the One on the Right" in The New Yorker (1929)
“A lady ... with all the poise of the Sphinx though but little of her mystery.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1931 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Concerning a child actress in A. A. Milne's play Give Me Yesterday; in her review of same, "Just Around Pooh Corner" in The New Yorker (March 14, 1931)
“The House Beautiful is, for me, the play lousy.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1931 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Review of "The House Beautiful" by Channing Pollock, The New Yorker (March 21, 1931)
“Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1931 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Flaw in Paganism" in Death and Taxes (1931)
“The ones I like ... are "cheque" and "enclosed.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1932 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: On the most beautiful words in the English language, as quoted in The New York Herald Tribune (December 12, 1932)
“And I'll stay away from Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Little Hours" in Here Lies (1939); this plays on the title of the popular song "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows"; Paul Verlaine was Arthur Rimbaud's lover.
“I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Little Hours" in Here Lies (1939)
“I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1939 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Little Hours" in Here Lies (1939)
“One more drink and I'd have been under the host.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1944 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As quoted in Try and Stop Me by Bennett Cerf (1944)
“It takes me six months to do a story. I think it out and then write it sentence by sentence—no first draft. I can't write five words but that I change seven.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1956 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Interview, The Paris Review (Summer 1956)
“There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1956 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Interview, The Paris Review (Summer 1956)
“It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1956 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Interview, The Paris Review (Summer 1956)
“All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1956 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Interview in The Paris Review, Issue #13 (Summer 1956)
“[On being told of Calvin Coolidge's death] How do they know? (Coolidge was known as a man who said very few words.)”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1958 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted in Writers at Work 1st Series by Malcolm Cowley (1958)
“There is no such hour on the present clock as 6:30, New York time. Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1964 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: New York at 6:30 P.M.", Esquire (November 1964)
“Too fucking busy, and vice versa.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Response to an editor pressuring her for overdue work, as quoted in The Unimportance of Being Oscar (1968) by Oscar Levant, p. 89
“It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: On her abortion, as quoted in You Might as well Live by John Keats (1970)
“You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Parker's answer when asked to use the word horticulture during a game of Can-You-Give-Me-A-Sentence?, as quoted in You Might as well Live by John Keats (1970).
“What fresh hell can this be?”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: If the doorbell rang in her apartment, she would say, 'What fresh hell can this be?' — and it wasn't funny; she meant it." You might as well live: the life and times of Dorothy Parker, John Keats (Simon Schuster, 1970, …
“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1959 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: From a review of the revised edition of The Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr. and E. B. White published in Esquire (November 1959).
“That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say No in any of them.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1942 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: A similar line was later used by Ira Gershwin in "The Saga of Jenny" in Lady in the Dark (1942): "In 27 languages she couldn't say no.
“And there was that wholesale libel on a Yale prom. If all the girls attending it were laid end to end, Mrs Parker said, she wouldn't be at all surprised.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Brevity is the soul of lingerie.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1916 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Caption written for Vogue 1916
“Katharine Hepburn delivered a striking performance that ran the gamut of emotions, from A to B.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1934 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Woollcott writes in While Rome Burns that Parker had "recently...achieved an equal compression in reporting on The Lake, Miss Hepburn, it seems, had run the whole gamut from A to B." These words do not appear in Dorothy…
“Dotty had Great Big Visions of Quietude. Dotty saw an Ad, and it Left her Flat. Dotty had a Great Big Snifter of Cyanide. And that (said Dotty) Is that.”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) first seen 1927 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: When We Were Very Sore (Lines on Discovering That You Have Been Advertised as America's A. A. Milne)", first printed in New York World (March 10, 1927) p. 15; based on A. A. Milne's "Happiness
“Almost overnight, Dorothy Parker was transformed from a woman of letters into a gin-soaked quote machine, with a martini in one hand and a dagger in the other. p. xiii”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Sinbad is produced in accordance with the fine old Shubert precept that nothing succeeds like undress. p. 6”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Anyone can do that—the stunt lies in not doing it. p. 8”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I thought that was going to be a good song, too, and then they went and rhymed “time” and “Rhine,” and spoiled everything. p. 24”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“They exude an atmosphere of The New Republic—a sort of Crolier-than-thou air. p. 36”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There is one thing about Fiddlers Three, though, that held my attention all through the evening: Try as I might I could only discern two fiddlers. p. 42”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“To quote the only line of Gertrude Stein's which I have ever been able to understand, "It is wonderful how I am not interested." p. 64”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You know how a play in dialect is. At the first act, you think, "How quaint!"; at the second act, you wish they would either stop using dialect or keep quiet; and at the third act, you wish you hadn't come. And Tillie, may I mention in passing, has four acts. p. 64”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“If the English version is in what, in our youth, we used to speak of affectionately as dear old iambic pentameter, the actors mercifully abstain from reciting it that way; they speak their lines as good, hardy prose. p. 76”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The musical comedies of the month are She’s a Good Fellow and The Lady in Red, both of which owe their book and lyrics to Anne Caldwell—evidently a native of New York, judged by the casualness with which she rhymes “teacher” and “reach a.” p. 82”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“And you remember, Rabbi Wise has declared, in a heated moment, that our plays seem to be written for the hosiery buyers. If Dr. Wise had only witnessed our new summer reviews, he doubtless would have amended his statement to “read by the hosiery buyers.” p.89”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“This use of soldiers to make a play popular seems too much like taking an unfair advantage of the uniform—hitting below the Sam Browne belt, as it were. p. 93”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“In short, there is everything about this season's entertainment to make the Hippodrome what it always is—a Temple of the Arts to all those who hang pennants on their automobiles, use “Shake hands with my friend” as a formula for introduction, and sprinkle powdered sugar on their sliced tomatoes. p. 106”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The play holds the season's record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinée. By an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many. p. 121”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Writing a book for the Follies seems to be about as profitable an occupation as furnishing flannel petticoats for the showgirls. p. 151”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The management's method of procedure is evidently to hire some well-known man to write the book, and then, as soon as it is written, to give it away to some deserving family, and go out and engage an assortment of specialty acts. p. 151”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Van and Schenck put their songs over so skillfully that it isn't until their act is all done that you realize what extremely indifferent songs they are. Now, when John Steel is singing, on the other hand, you are never fooled for a moment. p.153”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Mr. Hodge plays with his accustomed ease, even carrying the thing so far as to repeat many of his lines with his eyes shut; and in a pretty spirit of reciprocity, many members of the audience sit through the play with their eyes shut. p. 175”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Of course, there are many things to be said for the afternoon performance, chief among them being that it cuts in so generously on one's work. p. 201”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Naturally, you know how you would feel on setting out to see a performance of Aucassin and Nicolette done by a company of little ones; you would strive to hurl yourself beneath the wheels of a friendly truck, on your way to the theatre. p. 233”
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967) said by 1967 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source