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Donald Barthelme

62 quotes

“I am never needlessly obscure—I am needfully obscure, when I am obscure.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: as quoted by Tracy Daugherty in an interview, Splice Today, 2 Sept 2009.
“It is not true that Kafka wanted Brod to burn his manuscripts after his death. Rather it is the case that Kafka was on fire to be published...rushed to the postbox day after day...ate with editors...intrigued for favorable notices...read the Writer’s Digest...consorted with critics...autographed napkins...made himself available to librarians...spoke on the radio...”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: praragraph deleted from “Kierkegaard Unfair to Schlegel”, in Tracy Daugherty’s Hiding Man: A Biography of Donald Barthelme (2009), p. 335.
“Oh, there is nothing better than intelligent conversation except thrashing about in bed with a naked girl and Egmont Light Italic.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“His examiner...said severely: "Baskerville, you blank round, discursiveness is not literature." "The aim of literature," Baskerville replied grandly, "is the creation of a strange object covered with fur which breaks your heart.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The distinction between children and adults, while probably useful for some purposes, is at bottom a specious one, I feel. There are only individual egos, crazy for love.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“[picket sign] COGITO ERGO NOTHING!....[casual passerby:] "Cogito ergo your ass"....”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“It's true," Carl said, "with a kind of merde-y inner truth which shines forth as the objective correlative of what actually did happen, back home.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“No man's plenum, Mr. Quistgaard, is impervious to the awl of God's will.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Sometimes I see signs on walls saying Kill the Rich,” Clem said. “And sometimes Kill the Rich has been crossed out and Harm the Rich written underneath. A clear gain for civilization I would say. And the one that says Jean-Paul Sartre Is a Fartre. Something going on there, you must admit. Dim ﬂicker of something. ...”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“We like books that have a lot of dreck in them, matter which presents itself as not wholly relevant (or indeed, at all relevant) but which, carefully attended to, can supply a kind of “sense” of what is going on. This “sense” is not to be obtained by reading between the lines (for there is nothing there, in those white spaces) but by reading the lines themselves—looking at them and so arriving at a feeling not of satisfaction exactly, that is too much to expect, but of having read them, of having “completed” them.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Take me home," Snow White said. "Take me home instantly. If there is anything worse than being home, it is being out.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“How old are you Hogo.” “Thirty-five Jane. A not unpleasant age to be.” “You don’t mind then. That you are not young.” “It has its buggy aspects as what does not?” “You don’t mind then that you are sagging in the direction of death.” “No, Jane.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“[Snow White talking to herself] “... No wonder we who are twenty-two don’t trust anybody over twelve. That is where you find people who know the score, under twelve. I think I will go out and speak to some eleven-year-olds, now, to refresh myself. Now or soon.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“ANATHEMATIZATION OF THE WORLD IS NOT AN ADEQUATE RESPONSE TO THE WORLD.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The present goal of the individual in group enterprises is to avoid dominance; leadership is felt to be a character disorder.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“As a magician works with the unique compressibility of doves, finding some, losing others in the same silk foulard, so the rebels fold scratchy, relaxed meanings into their smallest actions.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Self-criticism sessions were held, but these produced more criticism than could usefully be absorbed or accomodated.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“—Is it permitted to differ with Kierkegaard? —Not only permitted but necessary. If you love him.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“—There’s a thing the children say. —What do the children say? —They say: Will you always love me? —Always. —Will you always remember me? —Always. —Will you remember me a year from now? —Yes, I will. —Will you remember me two years from now? —Yes, I will. —Will you remember me five years from now? —Yes, I will. —Knock, knock. —Who’s there? —You see?”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Naked girls with the heads of Marx and Malraux prone and helpless in the glare of the headlights, tried to give them a little joie de vivre but maybe it didn’t take, their constant bickering and smallness, it’s like a stroke of lightning, the world reminds you of its power, tracheotomies right and left, I am spinning, my pretty child, don’t scratch, pick up your feet, the long nights, spent most of my time listening, this is a test of the system, this is only a test.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The center will not hold if it has been spot-welded by an operator whose deepest concern is not with the weld but with his lottery ticket.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Will you be wanting to contest the divorce?" I asked Mrs. Davis. "I should think not," she said calmly, "although I suppose on of us should, for the fun of the thing. An uncontested divorce always seems to me contrary to the spirit of divorce.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I didn’t go to church because I was a black sheep. There were five children in my family and the males rotated the position of black sheep among us, the oldest one being the black sheep for a while while he was in his DWI period or whatever and then getting grayer as he maybe got a job or was in the service and then finally becoming a white sheep when he got married and had a grandchild. My sister was never a black sheep because she was a girl.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The actors feel that the music played before the curtain rises will put the audience in the wrong mood. The playwright suggests that the (purposefully lugubrious) music be played at twice-speed. This peps it up somewhat while retaining its essentially dark and gloomy character. The actors listen carefully, and are pleased.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“People always like to hear that they’re under stress, makes them feel better. You can imagine what they’d feel if they were told they weren’t under stress.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I smell fennel,” Launcelot said. “That reminds me, I should tell you I have discovered a specific for maims. You take salt, good-quality river mud, and bee urine, and slather it on the maim and hold it there for two days. Works like a charm. Gathering the bee urine is a bit of a bore.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“How does one conquer fear, Don B.?” “One takes a frog and sews it to one’s shoe,” he said. “The left or the right?” Don B. gave me a pitying look. “Well, you’d look mighty funny going down the street with only one frog sewed to your shoes, wouldn’t you?" he said. “One frog on each shoe.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“My deranged mother has written another book. This one is called The Bough and is even worse that the others. I refer not to its quality—it exhibits the usual “coruscating wit” and “penetrating social observation”—but to the extent to which it utilizes, as a kind of mulch pile, the lives of her children.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“These games are marvelous,” Amanda said. “I like them especially because they are so meaningless and boring, and trivial. These qualities, once regarded as less than desirable, are now everywhere enthroned as the key elements in our psychological lives, as reflected in the art of the period as well as—”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The Continental Congress resolved that your famous plainneff and modefty would be ill ferved were it known that a houfe for your horfe was paid for from the public purfe.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Being merciless, while not exactly easy, is finally a job like any other. It’s theater. It’s got nothing to do with my private life. Still, sometimes when I used to yell at my kids, I wondered if I was maybe...putting a little too much into it. They’re grown now, so the question is moot. They seem OK. Roderick is at Harvard and Betsy is married and has a couple of kids of her own.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Who among us is not thinking about divorce, except for a few tiny-minded stick-in-the-muds who don’t count?”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“People who had, in the past, suffered from technophobia suffered even more. Others took other positions. Things were not so bad. Things could be worse. Worse things could be imagined. Worse things had been endured and triumphed over, in the past. This was not the worst. The worst was yet to come.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Poignance is all.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“MAGGIE: Did you have a good time? HILDA: The affair ran the usual course. Fever, boredom, trapped. MAGGIE: Hot, rinse, spin dry.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“HENRY: Now it is necessary to court her, and win her, and put on this clean dressing gown, and cut my various nails, and drink something that will kill the millions of germs in my mouth, and say something flattering, and be witty and bonny, and hale and kinky, all just to ease this wrinkle in the groin. It seems a high price.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“BILL: … We are what we have been told about ourselves. We are the sum of the messages we have received. The true messages. The false messages.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I keep wondering if, say, there is intelligent life on other planets, the scientists argue that something like two percent of the other planets have the conditions, the physical conditions, to support life in the way it happened here, did Christ visit each and every planet, go through the same routine, the Agony in the Garden, the Crucifixion, and so on...”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I obey the Commandments, the sensible ones. Where they don’t know what they’re talking about I ignore them. I keep thinking about the story of the two old women in church listening to the priest discoursing on the dynamics of the married state. At the end of the sermon one turns to the other and says, “I wish I knew as little about it as he does.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Instant gratification is not as good as that gratification which comes dripping slow, over the sere seasons.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“As Jules Renard said, no matter how much care an author takes to write as few books as possible, there will be people who haven’t heard of some of them.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Sometimes I see signs on walls saying Kill the Rich,” Clem said. “And sometimes Kill the Rich has been crossed out and Harm the Rich written underneath. A clear gain for civilization I would say. And the one that says Jean-Paul Sartre Is a Fartre. Something going on there, you must admit. Dim ﬂicker of something. ...”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“LeDuff’s argument (in Shock Art #37) that an image, once floated on the international art-sea, is a fish that anyone may grab with impunity, and make it his own, would not persuade an oyster. Questions of primacy are not to be scumbled in this way, which, had he been writing from a European perspective, he would understand, and be ashamed. The brutality of the American rape of the world’s exhibition spaces and organs of art-information has distanciated his senses. The historical aspects have been adequately trodden by others, but there is one category yet to be entertained—that of the psychological. The fact that LeDuff is replicated in every museum, in every journal, that one cannot turn one’s gaze without bumping into this raw plethora, LeDuff, LeDuff, LeDuff (whereas poor Bruno, the true progenitor, is eating the tops of bunches of carrots)—what has this done to LeDuff himself? It has turned him into a dead artist, but the corpse yet bounces in its grave, calling attention toward itself in the most unseemly manner. But truth cannot be swallowed forever. When the real story of low optical stimulus is indited, Bruno will be rectified.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) first seen 1974 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Letters to the Editore”, Guilty Pleasures (1974).
“What makes The Joker tick I wonder?” Fredric said. “I mean what are his real motivations?” “Consider him at any level of conduct,” Bruce said slowly, “in the home, on the street, in interpersonal relations, in jail—always there is an extraordinary contradiction. He is dirty and compulsively neat, aloof and desperately gregarious, enthusiastic and sullen, generous and stingy, a snappy dresser and a scarecrow, a gentleman and a boor, given to extremes of happiness and despair, singularly well able to apply himself and capable of frittering away a lifetime in trivial pursuits, decorous and unseemly, kind and cruel, tolerant yet open to the most outrageous varieties of bigotry, a great friend and an implacable enemy, a lover and abominator of women, sweet-spoken and foul-mouthed, a rake and a puritan, swelling with hubris and haunted by inferiority, outcast and social climber, felon and philanthropist, barbarian and patron of the arts, enamored of novelty and solidly conservative, philosopher and fool, Republican and Democrat, large of soul and unbearably petty, distant and brimming with friendly impulses, an inveterate liar and astonishingly strict with petty cash, adventurous and timid, imaginative and stolid, malignly destructive and a planter of trees on Arbor Day—I tell you frankly, the man is a mess.” “That’s extremely well said Bruce,” Fredric stated. “I think you’ve given a very thoughtful analysis.” “I was paraphrasing what Mark Schorer said about Sinclair Lewis,” Bruce replied.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Try to be a man about whom nothing is known,” our father said, when we were young. Our father said several other interesting things, but we have forgotten what they were. “Keep quiet,” he said. That we remember. He wished more quiet. One tends to want that, in a National Park. Our father was a man about whom nothing was known. Nothing is known about him still. He gave us the recipes. He was not very interesting. A tree is more interesting. A suitcase is more interesting. A canned good is more interesting. When we sing the father hymn, we notice that he was not very interesting. The words of the hymn notice it. It is explictly commented upon, in the text.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The new thing, a great banality in white, off-white and poor-white, leaned up against the wall. “Interesting,” we said. “It’s poor,” Snow White said. “Poor, poor.” “Yes,” Paul said,” one of my poorer things I think.” “Not so poor of course as yesterday’s, poorer on the other hand than some,” she said. “Yes,” Paul said, “it has some of the qualities of poorness.” “Especially poor in the lower left-hand corner,” she said. “Yes,” Paul said, “I would go so far as to hurl it into the marketplace.” “They’re getting poorer,” she said. “Poorer and poorer,” Paul said with satisfaction, “descending to unexplored depths of poorness where no human intelligence has ever been.” … “Sublimely poor,” she murmured. “Wallpaper,” he said.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“All right lad this is what we want with you. Your mission is this: to go out into the world and pull down all those election posters. Let’s get all those ugly faces off our streets and out of our elective offices. We are not going to vote any more, no matter how often they come around with their sound trucks and statesmanlike gestures. Pull down the sound trucks. Pull down the outstretched arms. To hell with the whole business. Voting has turned out to be a damned impertinence. They never do what we want them to do anyhow. And when they do what we want them to do, they don’t do it well. To hell with them. We are going to save up all our votes for the next twenty years and spend them all at one time. Maybe by that day there will be some Rabelaisian figure worth spending them on. ...”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“—On the dedication page of the rebellion, we see the words “To Clementine”. A fine sentiment, miscellaneous organ music next, and, turning several pages, massed orange flags at the head of the column. This will not be easy, but neither will it be hard. Good will is everywhere, and the lighthearted song of the gondoliers is heard in the distance. —Yes, success is everything. Morally important as well as useful in a practical way. —What have the rebels captured thus far? One zoo, not our best zoo, and a cemetery. The rebels have entered the cages of the tamer animals and are playing with them, gently. —Things can get better, and in my opinion will. —Their Graves Registration procedures are scrupulous—accurate and fair. —There’s more to it than playing guitars and clapping along. Although that frequently gets people in the mood. —Their methods are direct, not subtle. Dissolution, leaching, sandblasting, cracking and melting of fireproof doors, condemnation, water damage, slide presentations, clamps and buckles. —And skepticism, although absolutely necessary, leads to not very much.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“William I’m sorry I let my brother hoist you up the mast in that crappy jury-rigged bosun’s chair while everybody laughed! William I’m sorry I could build better fires than you could! I’m sorry my stack of Christmas cards was always bigger than yours! … William I’m sorry I invented bop jogging which you couldn’t do! I’m sorry I loved Antigua! I’m sorry my mind wandered when you talked about the army! I’m sorry I was superior in argument! I’m sorry you slit open my bicycle tires looking for incriminating letters that you didn’t find! You’ll never find them! … William! I’m sorry I looked at Sam but he was so handsome, so handsome, who could not! I’m sorry I slept with Sam! I’m sorry about the library books! I’m sorry about Pete! I’m sorry I never played the guitar you gave me! I’m sorry I married you and I’ll never so it again!”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“—What did you do today? —Went to the grocery store and Xeroxed a box of English muffins, two pounds of ground veal and an apple. In flagrant violation of the Copyright Act. —You had your nap, I remember that— —I had my nap. —Lunch, I remember that, there was lunch, slept with Susie after lunch, then your nap, woke up, right?, went Xeroxing, right?, read a book not a whole book but part of a book— —Talked to Happy on the telephone saw the seven o’clock news did not wash dishes want to clean up some of this mess? —If one does nothing but listen to the new music, everything else drifts, frays. Did Odysseus feel this way when he and Diomedes decided to steal Athene’s statue from the Trojans, so that they would become dejected and lose the war? I don’t think so, but who is to know what effect the new music of that remote time had on its hearers? —Or how it compares to the new music of this time? —One can only conjecture.”
Donald Barthelme (1931–1989) said by 1989 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source