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Bill Hicks
112 quotes
“You ever look at their faces? "We're pro-life." Don't they look it? Don't they just exude joie de vivre?”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God." And I say no, it's not, Dad. "Well, I believe that it is." Well, you know, some people believe they're Napoleon. That's fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don't share them like they're the truth.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit … left chocolate eggs in the night. Now … I wonder why we're fucked up as a race. I've read the Bible. I can't find the word "bunny" or "chocolate" anywhere in the fucking book.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day. Doesn't Rush Limbaugh remind you of one of those gay guys that like to lie in a tub while other guys pee on him?”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um – they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right? There's another 90 percent of our brains that we have to illuminate.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“How many of y'all wondered like I did during the LA riots when those people were being pulled out of their trucks and beaten half to death, how many of y'all wondered like I did… Step on the fucking gas, man! They're on foot, you're in a truck … I think I see a way out of this. It's that pedestrian right of way law.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“People come up and say, "Bill, quit talking about Kennedy, man. Let it go. It's a long time ago. Would you just forget about it?" I'm like, "Okay, then don't bring up Jesus to me! I mean, as long as we're talking shelf-life here." "Bill, you know Jesus died for you." "Yeah, it was a long time ago. Let it go. Forget about it!" How about this: get Pilate to release the fucking files. Quit washing your hands and release the files, Pilate! Who else was on that grassy Golgotha that day? Oh yeah, the three Roman peasants with the $100 sandals. Yeah, right!”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You ever notice how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like He rushed it.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Now we have women priests. What do y'all think of that? Women priests? [scattered applause] Yeah. I think it's fine, women priests, you know. So what? Now we got priests of both sexes I don't listen to.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Courtroom filled with women trying to meet Ted Bundy, give him love letters and wedding proposals – this is what the article says. And I'm sorry to say the first thing I thought when I read that was, "And I'm not gettin’ laid.’ What am I doing wrong, you know? A natural question.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I guarantee you Satan's gonna have no problems on this planet, 'cause all the women are gonna go: "What a cute butt!" "He's Satan." "You don't know him like I do." "He's the Prince of Darkness." "I can change him.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“(On drug laws): Isn't that weird, we've made nature against the law. That's how un-natural we've become.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“(On being called cynical & skeptical): “I do have a healthy skepticism, I think we all should. But I think if you listen closely enough, you’ll find that my message, if I as a joke-blower could be pompous enough to have one, is that we’re all alright and it’s gonna work out. I don’t find that cynical at all.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“(On being censored): “I didn’t go up and say the Pope’s a faggot!....Which is what he is, but I didn’t say that!”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“(On being censored): “It amazes me how afraid they are of 1 person….basically a joke blower!”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“(On Standards & Practices): “Where are your standards?....Stupid to retarded, is that the level of standards you’re trying to put out to America?”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“(On the effects of Magic Mushrooms): “Your mind completely opens up to the true nature of our existence, which is that we are not bodies, that we are pure, loving spirit created by God. That God is love and there is nothing but love, being all-encompassing, has no opposite. You are completely forgiven on all things, there’s nothing you’ve ever done that has ever swayed God’s pure and un-conditional love for you. And you realize that eternity and peace and heaven is our inheritance, all of us are going to make it there.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“(On the idea of being offended): “The majority of people are very reasonable I’ve found, but ya know what, they don’t write letters when something offends them on TV, because reasonable people know IT’S JUST FUCKIN’ TELEVISION! Not only that, reasonable people have a life! They're not sittin' in some trailer with some fuckin' crayon in their hand, some chicken scrawl goin' ‘I saw a guy talk about Jesus on the tube! I ain’t gone tune in no more!’And also reasonable people know ultimately they’re just fuckin’ jokes! Are you so afraid of a guy tellin' jokes!”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“People suck, and that's my contention. I can prove it on a scratch paper and pen. Give me a fucking Etch-a-sketch, I'll do it in three minutes. The proof, the fact, the factorum. I'll show my work, case closed. I'm tired of this back-slapping "Aren't humanity neat?" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay? That's all we are.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. "I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs." "I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking." "Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!" "Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here's Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid. By the way, keep drinking beer, you fucking morons.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There's a new party being born: The People Who Hate People Party. People who hate people, come together! "No!" We're kind of having trouble getting off the boards, you know. Come to our meeting! "Are you gonna be there?" Yeah. "Then I ain't fucking coming." But you're our strongest member! "Fuck you!" That's what I'm talking about, you asshole. "Fuck off!" Damn, we almost had a meeting going. It's so hard to get my people together.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I hate patriotism. I can't stand it, man — makes me fuckin' sick. It's a round world last time I checked.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Now, you have to tighten your belts, because we, your leaders, mis-spent your hard-earned money." Know what would make tightening my belt a little easier? If I could tighten it around Jesse Helms' scrawny little chicken-neck.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Oh, there's a threat to America! Yeah, yeah, yeah … back to that fucking COPS show. 'Cause I'll tell you who the threat to freedom … no, no, not to freedom. I'll tell you who the threat to the status quo is in this country: it's us. That's why they show you shows like fucking COPS. So you know that state power will win and we'll bust your house down and we'll fuckin' bust you anytime we want. That's the message.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They're sick, they're not criminals. Sick people don't get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I've been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately. I've been doubting my own existence.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“How much do you smoke, sir? Two packs a day, is that right? Pussy. I go through two lighters a day. That's right, two lighters! You're a health nut compared to me. You're like the Jack LaLanne of smokers compared to me.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I know this is not a very popular idea. You don't hear it too often any more … but it's the truth. I have taken drugs before and … I had a real good time. Sorry. Didn't murder anybody, didn't rape anybody, didn't rob anybody, didn't beat anybody, didn't lose – hmm – one fucking job, laughed my ass off, and went about my day. Sorry. Now, where's my commercial?”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“That's what I hate about the war on drugs. All day long we see those commercials: "Here's your brain, here's your brain on drugs", "Just Say No", "Why do you think they call it dope?" … And then the next commercial is [singing] "This Bud's for yooouuuu." C'mon, everybody, let's be hypocritical bastards. It's okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Pot is a better drug than alcohol. Fact! … I'll prove it to you. If you're at a ball game or a concert and someone's really violent and aggressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot? [The crowd answers "Drunk."] Wow! We all know the truth.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I deal only in facts, that's why I'm a cocky fuckin' bastard.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“[on the Gulf War] I was in the unenviable position of being for the war, but against the troops.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I quit smoking. It's very hard, but I'm glad I did. I'll tell you, this war against drugs in the US is the reason I quit because I got too fuckin' sick of being on the wrong side. The war against drugs, which actually is a war against civil rights, don't ever be fooled again. If they cared about us they'd get rid of the number one drug which is cigarettes; kills more people than crack, coke, and heroin combined, times 100. Legal.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“That's why my girlfriend and I broke up: she wanted kids, and I … well, she wanted kids. [laughs] I had no idea her philosophy was that flawed. She goes, "Wouldn't it be nice to have a kid? To have this fresh, clean slate which we could fill. A little clean spirit, innocent, and to fill it with good ideas." Yeah, yeah, how about this? If you're so fucking altruistic, why don't you leave the little clean spirit wherever it is right now? Okay? Horrible act, childbirth. Nightmare. Bringing … I would never bring a kid to this fucking planet.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Another thing. This idea of "I'm offended". Well I've got news for you. I'm offended by a lot of things too. Where do I send my list? Life is offensive. You know what I mean? Just get in touch with your outer adult. And grow up. And move on. Reasonable people don't write letters because... A: They have lives and B, they understand it's just TV. C: If they see something they don't like, something they do like might be on later. I've seen many comics I've hated. I've seen many shows that have offended me. I've never written a letter. I just go about my life.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“[Someone in the crowd yells "Freebird"] Please quit yelling that. It's not funny, it's not clever; it's stupid, it's repetitive, why the fuck would you continue to yell that? I'm serious. [The same man yells something back] "Kevin Matthews"; okay, what does that mean, now? Now, what does it mean? I understand where it comes from, so do you. Now, what does it all mean? What is the culmination of yelling that? [The same man yells back again] Jimmy Shorts: he's not here, he's not gonna be here. Now what? Now where are we? We're here at you interrupting me again, you fucking idiot. That's you. You see, we are here at the same point again where you, the fucking peon masses, can once again ruin anyone who tries to do anything because you don't know how to do it on your own! That's where we're fucking at! Once again the useless wastes of fucking flesh that has ruined everything good in this goddamn world! That's where we're at! HITLER HAD THE RIGHT IDEA! HE WAS JUST AN UNDERACHIEVER! KILL 'EM ALL, ADOLF! ALL OF 'EM! JEW, MEXICAN, AMERICAN, WHITE, KILL 'EM ALL! START OVER! THE EXPERIMENT DIDN'T WORK! Rain 40 days, please fucking rain to wash these turds off my fucking life! Wash these human wastes of flesh and bones off this planet! I pray to you, God, to kill these fucking people! [Someone yells out "Freebird" once more] Freebird. [Falls back] And in the beginning there was the word, Freebird. And Freebird would be yelled throughout the centuries. Freebird, the mantra of the moron.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) first seen 1989 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: I'm Sorry Folks (1989)
“You know I've noticed a certain anti-intellectualism going around this country ever since around 1980, coincidentally enough. I was in Nashville, Tennessee last weekend and after the show I went to a waffle house and I'm sitting there and I'm eating and reading a book. I don't know anybody, I'm alone, I'm eating and I'm reading a book. This waitress comes over to me (mocks chewing gum) 'what you readin' for?'...wow, I've never been asked that; not 'What am I reading', 'What am I reading for?' Well, goddamnit, you stumped me...I guess I read for a lot of reasons — the main one is so I don't end up being a fuckin' waffle waitress. Yeah, that would be pretty high on the list. Then this trucker in the booth next to me gets up, stands over me and says [mocks Southern drawl] 'Well, looks like we got ourselves a readah'...aahh, what the fuck's goin' on? It's like I walked into a Klan rally in a Boy George costume or something. Am I stepping out of some intellectual closet here? I read, there I said it. I feel better.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You know how in many parts of our troubled world they are yelling 'revolution! revolution!' In Tennessee they are yelling 'evolution...we want our thumbs!' The thing is they see people with thumbs on T.V. all day, boy that's got to drive them hog-wild huh? [mimics monkey] Trailers are shaking. They're nice people they're just, what would you call 'em - rural? Backwoods, country? They're real nice, after a show one of these guys came up to me and said 'hey, you're great, you cracked me up, I was about to spit!' ...Sorry? He said 'no I loved it, I'd like you to meet my wife and sister.' And there was one girl standing there...not a thumb between 'em. Goddamnit now what are the odds of that? Okay the girl had a little nub growin' in, but girls evolve quicker than guys.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“There's smoke in here. There's the smokers over there. Look at you, cool as a fucking cucumber. How many smokers do we have here tonight? [only a few people cheer] Whew! Listen to all that energy they can pump out at will. [goes into coughing fit for about 20 seconds] Thanks smokers. Valiant effort on your parts. Next time just hock up a chunk of lung, just rear back and launch a phlegm-gem toward the stage. Get one of those raw oysters happening. [mock spits and mimics mucus growing legs and running away] Hey hey hey, phlegm shouldn't have legs. Now, I'm no doctor but I've seen one on T.V. You ready for this, smokers? Listen to this: how many non-smokers do we have here tonight? [loud applause] Bunch of whinin' maggots. [lights cigarette] Bunch of obnoxious, self-righteous slugs. Don't take that wrong. I'd quit smoking if I didn't think I'd become one of you. I'm willing to die seven years before my time just so I'll be cool each last fuckin' day.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The worst kind of non-smoker is the one when you're smoking and they just walk up to you [mocks a person faking a cough] I always say 'shit, you're lucky you don't smoke. That's a hell of a cough you got there. I smoke all day and don't cough like that. Maybe you were conceived with a weak sperm or somethin'. Maybe your dad was jackin' off and your mom sat on it at the last second.' Did I overreact? I don't think I did. I think that's kind of cruel, I'm smoking and you come up coughing at me, Jesus. Do you go up to crippled people and start dancing too, you fuck? [starts dancing] Hey Mr. Wheelchair, what's your problem? C'mon iron-side, race ya. Fuckin' sadists. I mean the nerve!”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“They changed that drunk driving shit. The attitude is just too harsh for me. Way too harsh. You remember ten years ago if you got pulled over the cop came up to your car and said 'son, you been drinking?' Yeah. 'Oh, sorry to bother you. Don't want to bring your buzz down any. Get on outta here and have yourself some fun. Drink one for us. [laughs] We'll be joinin' ya right after duty. Okay bye-bye. Get back in the car Tommy it's just a drunk man behind the wheel of an automobile, that's all.' You remember that? Now you are the murderer. Remember the time when you'd go 'Why don't you go catch murderers?' YOU are the fuckin' murderer. And they're gunna nail ya man. That got that field sobriety test. Guaranteed. They start off slow, I love it. Walk a straight line. Well shit, I've been so drunk I've peed in my own pants, but I could skip a fuckin' straight line. Touch your nose. Dude, I could shoot thorazine into my heart and still find my fuckin' nose. Never understood that one at all (wraps arm around head and touches nose). Are people out there who cannot find their nose? It's right there never will it move I don't care how fuckin' drunk I am. I could have no arms and still find my fuckin' nose (bends over and raises foot up to nose). But then the kicker: say the alphabet backwards. Well shit, ya got me. I'm not drunk but I'm obviously too stupid to be driving god dammit. Somebody can actually do this? What kind of sobriety test is this? They're makin' this shit up as they go. They're havin' fun with ya. You're jumpin' through hoops for these guys. They're going 'Shit do a flip. Come here son and put your dick in our exhaust pipe, do it right now.' Shit I never heard of this one, (mimics taking off pants) but these are officers they know what they're doing. God damn that's hot. Shit how long have they been chasing us? Fuck. Man, they're just havin' fun with ya. This has nothing to do with a sobriety test, you're auditioning for your freedom, you think. They humiliate you for their own amusement then they pop you. So I say fuck it. 'Walk a straight line, touch your nose.' Fuck it I'm drunk. I might puke if I start movin' around a lot. How 'bout this officer how 'bout you carry me to the back of your car, think I'll start my eighteen hour nap right now buddy. You ever seen vomit go through that mesh screen between the front and back seat of their cars? Oh yeah, you're going to rue the day you pulled me over buddy. I've been eating bar olives for three days straight. I don't think it's going to go with your crispy blues. Wouldn't that be great to be too drunk to bust? 'Screw it let 'em go. Boy he did a nice flip though didn't he? Touchin' his nose the whole way around.' Touch your nose. Every fuckin' time. Never will I miss my nose.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“You know what was really humiliating? I got a DWI in a Chevette. It's not like if I hit anyone it would make a difference. Be fair. 'Son you're drunk no doubt about it, but you're in a Chevette buddy, hell go get 'em.' It's like a Big Wheel hittin' your shit. They got mosquitoes bigger than these fuckin' cars. Piece of shit car. Turn the air conditioner on in a Chevette while you're driving it's like hitting the car in the balls. It goes down to 5 all of a sudden. I feel like the Flintstones in that thing. You push the lighter in the battery light comes on. No wonder I'm fuckin' drunk. I hit a moth one time it did $400 damage to this piece of shit. The moth was all right he rolled with it. He took off I'm waitin' for a tow truck. 'What happened to your car buddy?' Shit I hit a bug. 'You're lucky to be alive. A man in Tennessee hit a ladybug in one of them things, sheared his head clean off...and his thumbs.'.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Rick Astley? Have you seen this banal incubus at work? Boy, if this guy isn't heralding Satan's immanent approach to Earth, huh. "Don't ever wanna make you cry, never wanna make you sigh … never gonna break your heart" … oh, I wouldn't worry about that without a dick, buddy. You got a corn nut! You got a clit! You're not even a guy! You're an AIDS germ that got off a slide! They're puttin' music to AIDS germs, they're puttin' a drum machine behind them in a metronome beat and Ted Turner's colorizing 'em, God damn it! These aren't even people man! It's a CIA plot to make you think malls are good!! Don't ya see? (Imitates stereotypical American in a robotic manner) "But Bill, malls are good! Malls allow us to shop 365 days of the year at a 72 degree heat. That must be good.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I've noticed a certain anti-intellectualism going around this country; since about 1980, coincidentally enough. … I was in Nashville, Tennessee, and after the show I went to a Waffle House. I'm not proud of it, but I was hungry. And I'm sitting there eating and reading a book. I don't know anybody, I'm alone, so I'm reading a book. The waitress comes over to me like, [gum smacking] "What'chu readin' for?" I had never been asked that. Not "What am I reading?", but "What am I reading for?" Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a fucking waffle waitress.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake. Like on the seventh day God looked down, "There it is. My Creation, perfect and holy in all ways. Now I can rest. [Gives shocked expression] Oh my Me! I left fuckin' pot everywhere. I should never have smoked that joint on the third day. Hehe, that was the day I created the possum. Still gives me a chuckle. But if I leave pot everywhere, that's gonna give people the impression they're supposed to … use it. Now I have to create Republicans." " … and God wept", I believe is the next part of that story.”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“And I'll tell you something, too, that's starting to annoy me about UFOs: the fact that they cross galaxies or universes to visit us, and always end up in places like … Fyffe fucking Alabama. Maybe these aren't super-intelligent beings, you know what I mean? "Don't you wanna go to New York or LA?" "Nah, we just had a long trip, we're gonna kick back and whittle some." Oh my god, they're idiots. We're gonna enter our mothership in the tractor pull!" Last thing I wanna see is some flying saucer up on blocks in front of some trailer, bumper sticker on it, "They'll get my raygun when they pry my cold, dead, eighteen-fingered hand off it!”
Bill Hicks (1961–1994) said by 1994 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source