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Art Buchwald
13 quotes
“I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.”
Art Buchwald (1925–2007) first seen 1972 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Quoted in Thompson, Hunter S., "Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail," 1972.
“I like champagne—because it always tastes like my foot's asleep.”
Art Buchwald (1925–2007) first seen 1954 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Some Heady Phrases on Wine, New York Herald Tribune (1954)
“A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.”
Art Buchwald (1925–2007) first seen 1958 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: New York Herald Tribune (16 January 1958).
“The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.”
Art Buchwald (1925–2007) first seen 1960 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: On liquid diets, in New York Herald Tribune (29 December 1960).
“Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new...program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.”
Art Buchwald (1925–2007) first seen 1968 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Have I Ever Lied to You? (1968).
“People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn't drive, there's something wrong with him.”
Art Buchwald (1925–2007) first seen 1968 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Have I Ever Lied to You? (1968).
“You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.”
Art Buchwald (1925–2007) first seen 1985 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Interview in The New York Times Book Review (1985), as quoted in Pundits, Poets, and Wits: An Omnibus of American Newspaper Columns (1990) by Karl Ernest Meyer, p. 308.
“Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, "I am not a crook." Jimmy Carter says, "I have lusted after women in my heart." President Reagan says, "I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.”
Art Buchwald (1925–2007) first seen 1986 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Time magazine (29 September 1986).
“If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.”
Art Buchwald (1925–2007) first seen 1989 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: International Herald Tribune (24 May 1989).
“People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even." … For me, being funny is the best revenge.”
Art Buchwald (1925–2007) said by 2007 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.”
Art Buchwald (1925–2007) first seen 2006 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: A humorous personal mantra he used to combat his states of depression, published in Too Soon to Say Goodbye (2006)
“Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.”
Art Buchwald (1925–2007) first seen 2006 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: As quoted in "Art Buchwald Celebrates His Life" a profile on CNN Newsroom (2 November 2006).
“I just don't want to die the same day Castro dies.”
Art Buchwald (1925–2007) first seen 2007 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Comment to friends, as quoted in "Newspaper Columnist Art Buchwald Dies at 81" by Patricia Sullivan in The Washington Post (18 January 2007).