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A. P. Herbert

23 quotes

“The Farmer will never be happy again; He carries his heart in his boots; For either the rain is destroying his grain Or the drought is destroying his roots.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) first seen 1922 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Farmer", Tinker, Tailor (1922).
“For I must write to The Times tonight, and save the world from sin.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) first seen 1925 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: The Saviours", Laughing Ann (1925).
“Don't let's go to the dogs tonight, For mother will be there.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) first seen 1926 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight", She-Shanties (1926).
“As my poor father used to say In 1863, Once people start on all this Art Goodbye, moralitee! And what my father used to say Is good enough for me.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) first seen 1930 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Lines for a Worthy Person", Ballads for Broadbrows (1930).
“Let's stop somebody from doing something! Everybody does too much.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) first seen 1930 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Let's Stop Somebody from Doing Something", Ballads for Broadbrows (1930).
“The laws were very comical; to bet was voted lax, But your betting was the only thing that nobody could tax.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) first seen 1970 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Speech to Parliament, 1930s; quoted by Bernard Levin in The Pendulum Years (1970).
“Bus driver, bus driver, the sirens have gone, The bombs may come down, but the buses go on; Bus driver, I know you won't think me a snobIf I whisper: "Bus driver, I don't want your job".”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) first seen 1944 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Seeing It Through", London Transport poster by Eric Kennington (1944).
“How proud upon your quarterdeck you stand, Conductor, Captain of the mighty bus! Like some Columbus you survey the Strand,A calm newcomer in a sea of fuss.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) first seen 1944 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Seeing It Through", London Transport poster by Eric Kennington (1944).
“Nobody's wrong but England – and England's always wrong, Too late – or else too early – too soft – or else too strong. And when for once the wide world begins to praise her name Her own sons crowd and hurry to shout her back to shame.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) first seen 1948 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Poor Old Britain", Leave My Old Morale Alone (1948).
“The race is run - the winner wears the laurels, But you and I not empty go away; For we have seen the least unkind of quarrels; The young men glowing in the friendly way. Let us be glad - but not because of winning, Let us go home, to family today. God make our Games a glorious beginning, And hand in hand, together guide us on our way.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) first seen 1948 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Let Us be Glad", anthem sung at end of 1948 Olympic Games, quoted in The Austerity Olympics by Janie Hampton (2008).
“There's alcohol in plant and tree. It must be Nature's plan That there should be in fair degree Some alcohol in Man.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) first seen 1951 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Number Nine ([1951] 1952) p. 151.
“The portions of a woman which appeal to man's depravity Are constructed with considerable care.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) first seen 1970 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Lines on a Book Borrowed from the Ship's Doctor", A. P. H.: His Life and Times (1970).
“Citizens who take it upon themselves to do unusual actions which attract the attention of the police should be careful to bring these actions into one of the recognized categories of crimes and offences, for it is intolerable that the police should be put to the pains of inventing reasons for finding them undesirable.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) said by 1971 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“It is like the thirteenth stroke of a crazy clock, which not only is itself discredited but casts a shade of doubt over all previous assertions.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) said by 1971 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“It cannot be too clearly understood that this is not a free country, and it will be an evil day for the legal profession when it is.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) said by 1971 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) said by 1971 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A highbrow is the kind of person who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) said by 1971 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“A man who has made up his mind on a given subject twenty-five years ago and continues to hold his political opinions after he has been proved to be wrong is a man of principle; while he who from time to time adapts his opinions to the changing circumstances of life is an opportunist.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) said by 1971 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The critical period in matrimony is breakfast-time.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) said by 1971 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The Englishman never enjoys himself except for a noble purpose. He does not play cricket because it is a good game, but because it creates good citizens. He does not love motor-races for their own sake, but for the advantages they bring to the engineering firms of his country. And it is common knowledge that the devoted persons who conduct and regularly attend horse-races do not do so because they like it, but for the benefit of the breed of the English horse.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) said by 1971 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Was the cow crossed?" "No, your worship, it was an open cow.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) said by 1971 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Justice should be cheap but judges expensive.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) said by 1971 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“The whole Constitution has been erected upon the assumption that the King not only is capable of doing wrong but is more likely to do wrong than other men if he is given the chance.”
A. P. Herbert (1890–1971) said by 1971 at the latest wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source