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"Weird Al" Yankovic
18 quotes
“Alanis Morissette and I actually used to date. I especially liked it when we went to the movies.”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) first seen 1996 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: AL TV, MTV, 1996; referring to the line "Is she perverted like me/would she go down on you in a theater" from Morissette's breakout hit You Oughta Know.
“That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) first seen 1998 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: I Love the 90's Part Deux, VH1, 1998; referring to Willow Rosenberg from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
“I wrote "Eat It" because I wanted to buy a banana boat for Christmas. It worked.”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) first seen 1985 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: I Love the 80's 3D, VH1, 1985.
“I have very mixed feelings about [Napster]. On one hand, I'm concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career. On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!!!!!”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) first seen 2000 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Ask Al Archives: May 2000.
“What kind of bananas do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's performance on whether or not they had a good seat?”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) first seen 2004 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Replying to a fan criticizing the poor seats a reviewer of a concert received. "Ask Al" Q&As for September 6, 2004.
“I think my chances of getting into the Rock 'N' Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli's.”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) first seen 2003 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Ask Al Archives: August 2003.
“Right now I'm listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT'S MY JOB.”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don't make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows. I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) first seen 2011 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Celebrity Baby Scoop interview, 2 Feb 2011
“If money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it.”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) first seen 1984 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: This Is the Life", Dare to Be Stupid (1984).
“My brothers and sisters all hated me 'cause I was an only child.”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) first seen 1989 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Generic Blues", UHF soundtrack (1989) .
“I'll never forget the first thing she said to me, she said: "Hey - you've got weasels on your face." Right then I knew it was true love.”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Look If you had one shot to sit on your lazy butt and watch all the TV you ever wanted until your brain turned to mush Would you go for it? or just let it slip? Yo”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media I edit Wikipedia”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) first seen 2006 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: White & Nerdy", Straight Outta Lynwood (2006).
“I'm nerdy in the extreme Whiter than sour cream”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
“I sued Taco Bell 'Cause I ate half a million Chalupas And I got fat! I sued Panasonic They never said I shouldn't use their microwave To dry off my cat!”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) first seen 2006 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: I'll Sue Ya", Straight Outta Lynwood (2006).
“Oh, you don't wanna mess with the R-I-double-A They'll sue you if you burn that CD-R It doesn't matter if you're a grandma, or a seven-year-old girl They'll treat you like the evil, hard-bitten, criminal scum you are”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) first seen 2006 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Don't Download This Song", Straight Outta Lynwood (2006).
“Never had a date That you couldn't inflate”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) first seen 2006 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: You're Pitiful" (2006), Internet-released song
“We only torture the folks we don't like You're probably gonna be okay.”
"Weird Al" Yankovic (born 1959) first seen 2011 wikiquote, CC BY-SA 4.0 source
Recorded in: Party in the " (, 2011)